Fall in love all over again: Portland

Whew! It's been quite a run in my hometown of Portland, but my time here at Blethen Maine is done. I am moving out o' town, but fear not, grizzled drinkers. Amy Martin, of the Switch and Maine Roller Derby, will be taking over my 1 a.m. Curfew duties. I am sure she will do a much better job than I did. (Also, how 'bout a hand for the Celtics, best thing I have ever seen).

Anyway, as a farewell gift to all 10 of my loyal readers, I put together a little guide to Portland partying, which is as fine partying as you will find, contrary to what some commenters have implied. It's a great scene because of the density (you can walk to everything) and the diversity (lots of different types of bars). And if you haven't been out to the OP on one of those wonderous summer nights, you have been missing out my friend.

The whole goal of this guide has been to showcase all the different things you can do here, as long as you are over 21 or have a sick fake ID. But, if you couldn't tell, I wanted to prove that you can get by with about $20 at Portland's bars and still have a good time.

We are young people and if we ever want to get ahead in life, blowing our paycheck out at the bahs just isn't smart. Save money! Buy drink specials! A quick tip: pay with cash. Opening a credit card tab will make you buy more drinks than you can afford PLUS your idiot friends can put drinks on the your tab.

Before going out on weekends, a lot of people like to "pregame" to save money. This involves drinking, drinking and then some more drinking before you go out. I will neither encourage or discourage this behavior, but one main problem is that you can get so carried away with "pregaming" that you forget that you meant to go out in the first place. So keep an eye on the clock.

In other cities, this isn't a problem. The bars stay open late, so you can leave at midnight and still have a wild night out. In Portland, we close shop at 1 a.m., so the latest time you want to head out is about 11 p.m.

If you aren't pregaming but want to grab a drink before you go to a club, check out Commercial St. Pub or something of that ilk early on to save some money. And if you are really hardcore, start at happy hour (Three Dollar Deweys and the Dogfish Bar & Grille have good ones). Good luck staying out all night if you start boozing at quittin' time.

Of course, before you do any of this, figure out your transportation. If you are from way out of town, you are either going to have bite the bullet and select a DD or grab a cheap hotel room, which there are none of downtown. And though the Old Port is great, I wouldn't recommend dropping 200 bills on a hotel room just to go party.

If you have to drive, parking can be rough on weekends, so try the lot by the County Courthouse. The lot is a bit of a hike but there are almost always spaces.

If you are living nearby, try to convince a non-drinker, such as a little brother, Mormon friend or parent to hook you and your friends up with a ride in town. If you live anywhere on the peninsula, get off your keister and take a walk. It saves money and will burn off beer calories. A cab is an option for people who live relatively close as well, but round-trip costs can add up.

If you drove in and are standing in front of your car after a baker's dozen of Doctor McGillicuddy's shots, please don't drive home. Call Homerunners (207 332-ride) and they will take you and your car home.

Worst comes to worst, grab a cab or phone a dozing friend for a ride and deal with the logistics later. Portland has a big problem with drunk drivers, and while I agree the city should do something about that in the form of better public transportation, driving wasted is not a good way to get your point across.

Once you are in town, you are all set. You can walk to well over 30 bars in the Old Port area, and even on holidays something will be open. Even better, few pubs charge cover, so you can hop around to your heart's desire (unlike in most big cities or college towns).

I've put together a list of the best bets for different bar scenes to your right as a starting point, but nothing beats getting out there yourself. (Note: If you can't see the sidebar, make your browser window bigger. All the entries have side bars, which some people never noticed because of this glitch. Dang kids and their computers...)

There is no shortage of party animals in P-Town, so just talk to people you know to find a good hangout. Almost everyone has a favorite bar and an illogical reason why they like it. I like to pick a set location to meet up, but another option is to walk around with friends and pick the scene that seems most lively. Especially in the summer, you can just walk around and dig the good vibes from all the bars and pick a place based on loudness/obnoxiousness levels.

Don't forget about people-watching after a few drinks or in lieu of going to the bars altogether. Watching drunks foolishly stumble out of the Iguana (now closed, R.I.P.) at 12:45 a.m. is a great experience. But, if you are looking to avoid foolish fights, stay away from Barf Street around closing time. There have been lots of fights and arrests there over the years, and random people are always getting into beef about their baby's mama, etc.

If you are walking home at night and are a guy, you should be good anywhere in Portland. I know it is a city and there is crime, but honestly, I would say walking home is straight at night as long as you aren't a lone female. If you are, grab a cab.

There are plenty of sketchballs hanging out around the bars at night, so don't take chances. If you are cabbing it home, don't forget you can hail cabs here. People forget that and call instead, but in my experience, just finding one is easier.

I hope everyone had as much fun reading this column as I had writing it. I know Amy will do a great job when she takes over, so don't worry, we will keep our bar coverage coming at you.

I want to thank MaineToday.com head Dan Dinsmore, former editorial head Brian Becker and my good buddy Shannon Bryan for making this all possible, as well as everyone else at MaineToday.com (like Carl and Wendy) who helped me figure out all the technical crud involved in doing this stuff. It's a lot of work! So be easy, P-Town. Pour some out for me.