J's is more than just oysters

J's Oyster Bar is the type of place for which everyone has a "remember when" story. Located on Portland Pier, J's is firmly established among the folks of Portland. A place that in the words of my friend, Mr. Bear, is "... iconic - I've been coming here since they opened," which was in 1977.

Owned by Cindy Brown and Colleen Williams, even most of the waitresses have worked there for more than ten years. So what is so great between those wood paneled walls and large windows that keeps everyone coming in, time and time again for 32 years?

J's itself is not spacious, but the large horseshoe bar makes it so everyone who sits next to you is a friend. Add in the tables and you've got to be quite cozy with the folks next to you on a really busy night.

Remember when you could smoke at J's Oyster? In the small space, you didn't need to even light up to get your nicottine fix. Don't worry, the bar and patio is non-smoking now.

I said patio! Their patio isn't huge but it is well sought after. Full table service provided by a sweet waitress, in the sun. What more could you want?

Hey Ross, remember when you and Matt were sitting on the patio and he threw your cell phone in the ocean? There's a sign on the patio tables that clearly states all laws apply and I'm pretty sure that breaches some sort of ocean littering policy. Oh, but you sure were enjoying those cold beers until then.

Let's talk about the drinks. With a full bar and a strong pour, J's knows how to make any drink you want. They carry house chardonnay, pinot grigio, white zinfandel (most likely for Joe), pinot noir and cabernet and they'll all run you about $5. For beers, you can get a really, really cold Sam Adams Boston Lager, Guinness, Harpoon IPA, Miller Lite ($3), Geary's Seasonal, Gritty's Vacationland, or Shipyard Export Ale ($4) on draft. Sam Adams Light, Miller High Life, Twisted Tea, Corona, Coors Light, Michelob Light, Michelob Ultra, Labatt's Blue, Budweiser, Rolling Rock and Heinekin are all available in a bottle. I bet those are pretty darn cold too.

Brooklyn, remember when you and I had lunch and made friends with the ladies at the table next to us and they ooohhed and aaaahhed over your Fisher-Price camera, while you took pictures of the seagulls?

The food at J's is pretty good, too. I got a chef's salad ($8.50) the other day and couldn't possibly ask for more food on that plate. Due to the the clam flats that are currently closed, I couldn't try their famous bucket of clams ($11.50)- but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't tried them before. Try the clam chowder, lobster stew or what they are famous for - the oysters. Raw and nude, served with cocktail sauce, horseradish lemon and crackers, available by the half or baker's dozen ($6.50, 11.50). J's even serves oysters baked and stuffed, Mornay style and Rockefeller style. Let me know how they are - cause that is one thing I will not eat. J's also features a children's menu.

Mostly comprised of local professionals and the working class, in the age range of 30-50, the regulars are pretty easy going here. However this time of year- you can't deny that it's fun watching the tourists get out their lobster bibs and attempt to crack one open. Regardless of who you are or where you are from, it's not hard to fit in at J's.

Guido, remember when we all had shots of Cuervo and then ... Shoot- I don't remember the rest of that one.

My favorite "remember when" was that time when I had to go to bathroom (one stall there, mind you) and as I tried to get in the stall- two ladies literally pushed me out of the way and said, "No, you can't come in." OK, so I waited a while and tried again. Nope. Those two were not budging. So, I casually mentioned something to someone who worked there (oh, turns out to be the owner) and she drags me by one arm, straight up to the women holding the bathroom hostage and says, "Are you ladies keeping this woman from using the restroom?" I wiggled out of her grasp and ran back to my table before I could hear their answer, where I kept my head down and stopped drinking altogether, for fear of getting beat up or wetting my pants.

Aaaah memories.

If you have something worth mentioning that happened at J's Oyster Bat, let's hear it!

Amber Olesen is a freelance writer.