A robust floral bucket of suds: Sebago Gorham

On the way out to Sebago Gorham, on a seemingly endless, congested 25 West, I've got my full curmudgeon on. Buy local, bah humbug, Sebago is franchising like a young McDonalds and I'm just a mouse on a wheel, paying lip service to the man.

Once the Maine market is chewed up and spit out it's on to bigger checks and a more homogenized product. It's a sure sign of a bad mood when you start recklessly mixing metaphors to prove your embittered points. Mind you, Sebago did nothing to deserve the the grumbles. Sebago, CBD and Bull Moose are just a few heartening Maine brands that have it together. To boot, I'm surely being a naive fool about the fun haze a brewery tour usually promises. Snap out of it pal! You're going to drink beer!

I pull up to the wooded parking lot, the coniferous enclave screaming New England down to a winter's worth of road salt grinding underfoot. Breweries can be some of the jolliest places on earth, I remind myself, and sure enough, it's merely 6 on a Wednesday in April, and there are what seems like a hundred ruddy faces inside, cast in an amber glow. The whole room's got the Beer Sillies, and pint glasses of pretzel rods play the tractor beam to the bar.

Noting my magnificent fortune of coming on the day Sebago offers "talls" for just $3, I meekly ask if they are serving an IPA today, like Garth Algar at an Alice Cooper show. Out comes an enormous 22 oz vessel, a glass of beer wherein 5 GI Joes could easily be submerged. This is not your Starbucks tall. The Frye's Leap IPA is a robust floral bucket of suds, feisty and abundant.

Once I let the bartender know, on the sly, that I'm writing a column, lightning strikes. She nonchalantly tosses me the 7-word keys to the kingdom: "So, want to try some more beers?"

Noting my predilection for the hoppiest of hops, she recommends the dangerously named Full Throttle Double IPA. The beer is a Louisville Slugger, way too big a taste for a 22oz portion. It packs a wallop, thicker, more alcohol than its kid sister Frye's Leap. Still, the lemon and caramel and spice are making my knees twitch a little. This is becoming more and more fun, and soon my brain matches the dimmed light.

For the knockout blow, she puts down a special shot glass size of the crown jewel, the mighty Milestone Ale. It's a brewer's beer, crafted for the palette that's been around the block. It was commissioned to celebrate Jon Clegg and Tom Abercrombie's 10 years in the game at Sebago. The red ale is made with red hot granite stones. I'll spare you the details, but it's strong, it's got a brown sugar start and a citrus tang finish, it's big-bodied, and it's really exciting to drink.

The moral is, especially if you're headed to try beer, don't sweat the small stuff. No matter the Sebago location, smiles will come easy on the way out.