GLBT Night Life: Styxx

Entering a gay club was a revelation for me. It was at the Pegasus Lounge in Pittsburgh, a decade ago, when I realized the best dance music, dance floors and dancers were at the gay clubs. Those other clubs I'd been frequenting were suddenly lame and flavorless.

I feel the same about Styxx, previously known as the Underground. I'm not much for hitting the clubs anymore - I'd rather sit on my bar stool with a Jameson and a game of cribbage, maybe Boggle - but every now and again I find myself needing to krump, breakdance and pop and lock. Sidenote: While in this photo you can clearly see I can't do any of that, I'm convinced I can after watching "So You Think You Can Dance."

Sure, I could go to the Old Port Tavern, but that place blows. It's nothing but dudes with googley eyes watching girls dance. It's like your waiting to get molested (on or off the dance floor). And really, that's the feeling about any "club" on Wharf St.

As far as gay clubs/bars go in Portland, Styxx is the best. For the most part, the whole city is gay-friendly, especially compared to other cities where you get flogged for being gay-ish in public. Don't get me wrong - there probably are places in Portland where you get a hairy eyeball for just holding hands.

Sisters and Somewhere, which was changed to Somewhere Else, then Spring Street and now the un-gay, but gay-friendly Flask (Subquestion: Can you, in fact, de-gay a bar?) are no longer open. If you want all gay all the time, there's just Styxx and Blackstones, the gay club where women aren't very welcome and they don't appreciate straight people infiltrating their haven. Or you could head down to Ogunquit.

While you can just have a beer, play a game of pool or watch the game on a big-screen, Styxx specializes in themed-nights. Sunday nights you can join in "Bunny Wonderland's Kamikazee Karaoke" from 8-11 pm. There is no cover and Skyy Vodka drinks are $3. Monday night is Male Revue. What happens at Male Revue? No clue, but you might get one if you look at these pictures. Beginning Nov 13 is the "Female Revue" every Thursday from 8-10 pm. Cover is $3 and the revue is followed by hip-hop music and videos. Pitchers are $5 until 11 pm. There's also Wii Bowling on Thursdays and Fridays until 9:30 pm. The Wii competition starts Nov 6.

The Hidden Door is open every Friday night from 7 pm-1 am with a $5 cover (free with a college ID). The back room, the one with the cage, is transformed from regular old dance floor to extravagant night club with a human disco ball, table lamp service, couches, tables and rollerskating and rollerblading servers. Bud Light drafts are $0.50 until midnight. If you don't venture to the Hidden Door, stay up front for "It's Back REWIND!," a night of 80's music videos with no cover.

View the full calendar for the low-down and dirty. Notice: Styxx is open on Thanksgiving Day.

My only complaint about Styxx is they don't serve PBR. (Subquestion: Is drinking PBR, in fact, a heterosexual libation?) On draft they serve Bud Light, Stella, Shipyard, Woodchuck and a Winter Ale (not sure if it's Geary's or another brew) for $2.50-4. Bottle beers cost $3-4 and include Budweiser, Bud Light, Corona, Corona Light, Miller Lite, Amstel Light, Heineken, New Castle, Michelob Ultra, Mojito, Smirnoff and Twisted Tea. Well drinks cost $4. On a busy nights you'll get your draft or mixed drink served in a plastic cup. I guess that's the sacrifice for getting to dance in a cage and hang out with the coolest people you've ever seen.