"Screw shoes" and beer bottles: just another Thursday run

It was just another Thursday for most of us - maybe you ran the Back Cove, or met up with your buddies for dinner. Maybe you caught The Office on TV or finished up some laundry. The point is, it's just Thursday.

But in collegeland, Thursday (particularly a sunny spring Thursday at the end of the semester) means two things: beers and beers.

The Reach the Beacon group tried something different last night and ran over to Baxter Woods off Stevens Ave. (in Portland, of course).

To get there, we ran across Forest Ave. onto Coyle St.

Not a block up the road we come upon some Thursday evening festivities (beer, of course, being the guest of honor). There were tables of beer bottles and a happy collection of coeds enjoying the mild temps (and the much-anticipated end of the semester).

As our group ran by, a few guys shouted out some "Woohoos." Then a few more. Then the applause started. And for no good reason whatsoever, our small running group started our trek to Baxter Woods with the kind of shouts and cheers I imagine only Olympic gold medalists ever really hear.

It was odd...but really cool.

I should have taken a picture. I told myself I'd take one on the way back - but I didn't. At the last minute I chickened out. Let's face it, I watch YouTube - those college kids scare me.

But this is essentially what it looked like:

When we got back, Ian Parlin from Trail Monsters gave us a chat about trail running. I'm going to give the trail thing a try one of these weekends - road running gets a little dull after a while. But more on that another time.

The big learning last night was the phrase "screw shoes."

If your mind is in the gutter with mine, or your maturity level hasn't grown appropriately with your age, you should have laughed.

But screw shoes aren't dirty...er, they ARE...but the real dirt kind of dirty. They're running shoes with screws (yes, screw screws) driven into the bottoms. Helps runners get traction when running on ice and snow.

Why are people are running on ice and snow? Beats me.

Sea Dogs 5K: It's not about winning

Some say that the phrase, "It's not about winning" is just something non-winners invented to console themselves. And while that's 100% true, it's also important to acknowledge the effort that everyone put in.

1,926 racers crossed the finish line during yesterday's Sea Dogs Mother's Day 5K. That's over 500 more than last year, which helps explain why I placed 1,381 this year (as opposed to 1,150 last year). My time improved by almost two minutes (33:38 from 35:16) - not mindblowing but I'll take it!

And sure, 1,380 people ran stronger and faster. 1,380 people beat me. 1,380 people can turn to me and say, "Ha! I'm better than you."

But that, of course, isn't the point. It doesn't matter that 1,380 people are faster than me. What matters is that I'm faster than 545 people.

Just a reminder, that's up from the 289 people I beat last year. (Maine Track Club has all the race results.)

And if we're going to be honest here, there were a few runners who perhaps shouldn't have placed as well as they did. I don't mean to imply that anyone cheated - I didn't see any runners on Heelys or any runners hopping off Vespas just before the finish.

But I think you'll agree, this gentleman had an unfair advantage:

And I know it was Mother's Day, but overachieving just makes the rest of us look bad:

But it was a beautiful day for a run - temps just under 60 degrees, sun shining. Myself and two friends from the Reach the Beacon training opted to stick near the back of the pack so as to A) not get run over, and B) not be compelled to run too fast at the start. ("Start slow," John Rogers says. "Save your energy.")

Quite an impressive-looking mass of people.

This year's race didn't end in the panting, dehydrated, bottleneck we experienced last year. Runners were lead straight off to water, bananas and bagels.

This picture looks very ethereal - and could be bent metaphorically to show how crossing the finish line is a feeling akin to the calmness and joy one imagines is felt in heaven.

But really it was just my sweaty hands steaming up the camera phone.

And really, nothing beats finishing a race (however fast or slow) and being greeted by a kind feller with a flower.

'Twas a good day.

Congrats to all who ran - whatever your time. I'll even say "Well done" to those crazy fast folks out there...though you still are, collectively, my nemesis.

Why yes, I DID beat last year's time

Thanks for noticing.

I'm not the type of person who'd just bring that up - like some uncouth braggart.

But yes, you're right, I shaved a few minutes off my time from last year.

What's that you say? Oh, stop! I did NOT run with the fantastical grace of grassland gazelle! You flatter me!

At any rate, I'm exhausted. Here's a runner's-eye-view from this morning. More necessary photos and commentary to come tomorrow.

And for anyone who noticed that I actually placed farther back than last year, QUIET! We'll talk about this in the morning.

Sea Dogs Mother's Day 5K 2008

Courtesy of the Portland Sea Dogs:

Case #336: Belt loops vs. Brownies

An amazing thing happened in the ladies room yesterday. And before your mind takes that sick leap into the gutter, I'll just get straight to the story.

It was late afternoon when I discovered it. All day I had been wandering around, pretending to work, completely unaware of the monumental alteration that had taken place.

But then there it was, clear as day, staring up at me with brown leathery eyes.

My belt was buckled a loop tighter than it ever has been...or at least tighter than it's been in a long, long time.

The evidence was obvious - the well-worn crease from my usual loop(s) stood out like a poorly healed wound. But screw the wound - my belt is one loop tighter!

It's inspiration like that that makes it possible to say "No thanks" when Wendy A. from the office decides to bring in a bucket of brownies. Others may crumble in the face of square chunks of chocolate heaven...but not me.

Not me.

As long as I beat SOMEONE

I ran the Sea Dogs Mother's Day 5K last year as part of the Beach to Beacon training. It may not surprise you that I didn't win.

In fact, I came in 1,150th place.

But being a bright-side-looker myself (not naturally - it's part of a court-ordered Optimism Training Program) I chose to not focus on the 1,149 runners who were faster and better than I. (Well, I focused on the fact that they were 1) all cheaters, and 2) on steroids). See?...Bright side!

Instead I reveled in the triumph over 286 racers who crossed the finish line after me. Ha!

I just registered for the race again (it's happening Mother's Day, which is this Sunday, people. Go buy your mom something).

I must've really been feeling the whole "optimism" thing because I chose "runner" and "medium t-shirt."

We're using the term "runner" very loosely - I think that's understood. As for the medium t-shirt, let's just see what happens.

My real priority is to beat more than 290 people - so if you're a REALLY slow runner or you don't even run at all but want to walk the course at an, oh I don't know, 15-minute mile pace...register online now!

C'mon, I'd do it for you.

Seriously though, placing 1,149 or better would be nice.

Runners sprint...and so do I

I'm really bad at paying attention to the training schedule - and I apparently missed the announcement from Head Coach Michael Gaige last week that said we'd be doing sprints this week.

Yikes. Sprints.

I'm lucky, though. Having trained with this program last year I have a good idea what to expect (hence the lackluster effort to pay attention to the schedule).

But for other runners in the group who heard the "S" word last week, I imagine their thought process went just like mine did when I first heard the word last year: "Sprints? Say what?! Did he just say sprints? He couldn't have. I'm not ready for any damn sprints - that's obvious. Are they trying to KILL me? That must be it! The whole world is against me! Why, God. Why?!?"

Whatever they were thinking, it must have been bad. Half the group failed to show last night. Maybe they were frightened off by the chilly wind. Maybe they were scooping out avocados in preparation for a wild Cinco de Mayo house party. Whatever the reason, the ranks were thin.

But we hardcore folks jogged out to the the Back Cove and ran sprints around the soccer fields. Head Coach Michael said that including sprints in your training is a great way to amp up your breathing efficiency - quickly, too. It's also a good change of pace from the regular routine.

The faster group looped around both fields - mine stuck to running around just one. The short course was split into quarters: sprint a leg, jog a leg, sprint a leg, jog a leg. Like so:

We went around four times total, then huddled by the water cooler for some much-needed air and water.

As we stood there recuperating, someone pointed out the empty Geary's packaging lingering suspiciously close to the water cooler. "This IS water, right?"

Yeah, it was just water. But I wished - just for a moment - that it wasn't.

We were allowed to jog/walk the mile or so back to the store, but the sprinting had me too jazzed up to consider walking. So I ran the whole way back (alternating between a slow jog and a faster run the entire way...I like this interval stuff).

Yea, sprints are okay by me.