I thought about joining roller derby for months. I first heard about Maine Roller Derby this past summer when I was working for a local publication and receiving their press releases. “Whoa. That is so awesome,” I’d thought. I wanted to join in the worst way but decided against it. I’m far too old and rickety to join derby, I had convinced myself. I have Carpal Tunnel and terrible knee problems. Hell, I’ve already had two knee surgeries. Why would I join a sport that may kill me physically? My momma didn’t raise a fool.
Six months later the call of derby grew incessantly louder. And I couldn’t refuse it. I had been fired from my job and was looking to fill the void where passion, determination, and commitment once lived. I made a plan to go to a practice and find out what this derby was about.
I wasn’t going alone, though, no sir. With friend in tow I arrived having no idea what to expect. I had only seen roller derby on television and thought it consisted of women who beat each other up while skating in a circle. Boy was I wrong.
I arrived as the girls were just getting onto the rink. It was oddly intimidating. There were no smiles, no welcomes. These women were there to skate, not to make friends. It’s incredible how a woman with a mini-skirt can suddenly look hard-ass with a pair of skates and a scowl.
Friend and I strapped on rental skates and timidly entered the rink. Now I’m a strong skater, but when trainer Vexacious D skated past me taunting, “Let’s see what you got,” I took a face-plant into the nearest wall.
Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, I’d thought. But I quickly changed my mind after watching the girls run drills and learning that derby is a sport with rules, not a free-for-all fight on skates. By the time practice was over, I was hooked. The Mom Bomb, head of recruiting, gave me and friend the low down. “We practice 2-3 times a week. We pay $20 a month in dues. We work very hard and take this very seriously.” She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I would leave my husband and child for derby.”
Good grief.

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