You've heard the saying if you set something free and it comes back to you, you know it was meant to be. I'm not sure i'm convinced of the truth of that in every context, but this summer i set something i love free. After the Port Authorities' last game on June 13th, Maine Roller Derby officially went on a seven-week summer break. This meant no official practices, no events or appearances, nothing but the monthly dues we each pay to be a member. We've had breaks from practice before, our last one being a brief four-week break last December and January, but after that break we went non-stop with practices (two to three times per week), events, meetings, committee work, bouts, scrimmages, and so forth since January. That's a very long time to be doing something which takes so much time and energy, mentally and physically, without a break.

During league breaks in the past i was always doing a good bit of work for the league as i was the head of Public Relations and Media, a position which entails not only the work described in the title but also serving as essentially a league director, one of the group of other directors who steer the league on a daily basis in both the immediate and long-term sense. Try as we may, the league directors have never been able to truly take a break from the work of running the business because the work never stops even if we're not actively skating and competing. But this year in June i stepped down from that position, so my only responsibility during this break was to relax and to stay in shape.

On previous breaks i worked out like a fiend, fearful of losing the level of fitness needed to play this grueling sport. You can train as hard as you want but what we learned long ago is nothing keeps you in skating shape except for skating. Still, you don't want to lose your overall endurance and strength that was so hard-won. On our break last summer we had one open-skate practice each week, unstructured but available to any skater who wanted to come and workout on skates and hone personal skills. I went to all but one of those last year. This summer was totally different on that level too. I didn't work out at all for a week after our last game. Then i tried to run a few times a week and do some weights and other resistance training at home. I only attend one non-required practice, the last one before break was over. In short, i didn't allow the fear of losing my fitness level haunt me on a daily basis. After two years of training constantly both on and off-skates, i felt it was finally time i take a mental and physical break from that pressure as well and decided to just stay active but not frantic.

Last week, on Monday to be exact, the break was over and practices began. We have slightly less than a month to prep for our first bout, a home game on August 29th with the Port Authorities playing the D.C. Rollergirls. I'll be honest, i wasn't exactly relishing that first practice. Summer break was good to me (despite the distinct lack of summer weather), and i wasn't quite ready for it to be over. I've spent three years thinking of and doing little other than Derby Derby Derby. It's been my passion and my main activity outside of work. This summer i let that go in order to rekindle the love. I still spent time with my derby family, but we kept the derby talk to a minimum as we all needed a break from it. It felt bizarre not having skates on my feet, not talking about strategy and teams and promotion every day, not checking scores of other games happening around the nation. For a while i feared the love had left me.

But what i realized is that you can take a true break from the relentlessness of it and still love it. Our first practice felt good. Ok, not all good - it was really painful! The calluses on the feet had softened, shoulders which had just started healing from injury were battered once more, and the heat! oh the heat. Of course the heat had to hit us for that first night back in the stuffy, un-airconditioned Expo, and then it hit even worse on our second practice. But i felt the beauty of eight wheels under my control. I snuggled in a giant pack with my leaguemates as we skated in close-quarters, getting used to the feel again of jumping and swerving around basically on top of each other. I remembered what truly rested muscles feel like and what they can do - amazing, explosive, powerful things! In one jam i felt like i basically flew through the pack, my rested leg muscles propelling me around and past blockers in big leaps. I had let all that go, and now i can feel it coming back to me with all the love i've always had, but also with a newfound balance that i hope i can maintain.