The Thrill of the Spectator

The Thrill of the Spectator
For those unfortunates who missed it, the Port Authorities were victorious once again in their game on September 13th, beating the Montreal New Skidz on the Block 185-59. Check out the recap of the game at Derby News Network for details. Montreal was a great team and very fun to play, and even more fun at the afterparty at Bubba's, instigating many a post-bout challenge, from dance-offs to a rousing game of steamroller (you'd have to be there to believe it).

This coming Saturday, I'm thrilled to get to be a spectator, of sorts, for my favorite team - Maine's "B" team the Calamity Janes. These are my leaguemates and my friends whom I spend every epic three-hour practice with, and much of my non-practice time as well. I'm so excited for their third bout where they'll take on the brand new team from New Hampshire Roller Derby (NHRD). NHRD formed in June 2007 and has been working hard to establish their league and come up to bouting status. They have finally arrived and after a recent mixed-team scrimmage on their own turf and a scrimmage in Providence, RI against the Killah Bees, they're ready for their first official bout. Maine Roller Derby and NHRD have been supportive friends since day one, so it's a thrill to have the two teams finally get to meet on the Expo track.

The Janes are raring to go for this game. Their first two bouts were extremely closely-contested and resulted in the narrowest of heartbreaking losses. Their debut against Providence's Killah Bees came down to double overtime and a final score of 61-63 to the Bees. Their second game, a travel bout against Hudson Valley, was neck-and-neck most of the way through and came down to a three-point loss at 69-66. Needless to say the Janes are more than ready for their first win.

One of the things I love about how our league is structured is that we have the two teams under the Maine Roller Derby umbrella # the Port Authorities and the Calamity Janes # and both teams play in interleague competitions. Some leagues have different structures which include home teams that play against each other in intraleague competition on a regular basis, in addition to a team or two that does interleague bouting. This structure works great for many, but our league is so small that we only have enough people to field two teams, and it would be boring to have two home teams that played each other over and over. Hence we do all-interleague bouts and are united as a whole league. We train with each other at every practice, and whichever team is not playing (plus the skaters who are not yet placed on a team) does all the volunteer work at the bouts, from ticket booth to merch table to scorekeeping and so on.

The scorekeeping table is where I'll be this Saturday, working as a Non-skating Official by running the scoreboard. I'm happy to have this job, though it's also a daunting task. As an Official I am obviously not allowed to stomp and scream and root for my team because Officials are unbiased in their working capacity and must represent that in their dress and demeanor. And of course I truly am unbiased when it comes to accurately reporting the score on the scoreboard. But I usually lose half my voice cheering when I'm watching a bout, so I fear my head may explode from the repressed excitement. At least I'll be able to get some of the pent-up energy out before the game and at half-time when one of my favorite bands, Miss Fairchild, will be entertaining us all with their cannot-keep-from-dancing funk-soul-pop brilliance.

In case you've forgotten, here are the details so you can come and do my cheering for me:

Saturday, September 27th at the Portland Expo
5pm doors and Miss Fairchild plays
6pm the bout starts
Advance tix www.mainerollerderby .com or Bull Moose Music
Donate non-perishable food items at the door to benefit the People's Regional Opportunity Program and receive $2 off adult ticket price.
The afterparty will rage on at the Big Easy, with MORE of Miss Fairchild (free w/ MRD ticket stub, $5 otherwise).

Five Days and Counting, and So Begins My Private Battle

Maine's all-star team, the Port Authorities, have a bout on Saturday of this weekend. I play for the Authorities, so this is game week for me. Bouts are the sweet whipped-cream-and-cherry on top of the giant roller derby sundaes that are filled with training and league-work and meetings and events and suffering through minor injuries and more training. Finally, we get to get out there and play a game in front of a crowd! It's so gratifying…and nerve-wracking. Everyone deals with game week differently, and everyone suffers from varying levels of nervousness, from zero to nearly full-blown mental meltdown. Me? Historically I fall on the near-meltdown end of that spectrum. But this season, I am absolutely determined to change that.

I don't want to be one of the ones who struggles with nerves, but I accept that I am and always have been. For every game up to this point, the scales have been as such:

Two to three weeks before game day: Immersed in Public Relations and Media-related work for the league, as well as general league work. Nerves at acceptable low-level background static.

Week of game: Nothing other than derby in my mind, not for one minute of the day or night. What will the other team be like? Will they kill us? So much work to do, did I remember to send that email? Should I have gotten new bearings this week? Will I let my team down? What's that noise? Oh no it's 3 in the morning, why can't I sleep? Surely I will fail without sleep. Nerves at constant, somewhat uncomfortable mosquito-buzzing-in-ear pitch.

Night before game: It's happening tomorrow oh my gaaaawwd I may implode. How will I sleep? I must get sleep. I must eat carbs. Lots of carbs, more carbs than usual. Carbs will save me. Something will save me. I can't take the waiting, waiting is the hardest part. Is it tomorrow yet? Nerves at near-audible level, like they're screaming in my ear. Stomach flip-flops at least once every hour.

Game day: After a morning of fever-pitched checking of gear, forced eating, hyper-hydration, and generally fruitless attempts at distraction, nerves are winning the battle. Arrive at Expo hours before game time to help prepare. Time drags more slowly than ever seemed possible. Fans start arriving. Elation and fear increase. Suddenly we're behind the curtain and waiting through the referees' introductions, then the other team's introductions. Would literally climb walls if wheels were not attached to feet. Laughing hysterically at slightest provocation. Convinced other team's friendly and fun personae is a clever ruse and I actually WILL die, if not by implosion then by gruesome murder by opposing team who is clearly carrying concealed axes and knives which they will use when I take to the track. Death is imminent. Totally unclear why I ever thought this was a good idea.

Aaaand…scene. I believe some small amount of performance anxiety is good for most people, because if you're going into an athletic competition thinking you've got it in the bag you will undoubtedly fail. Yet one doesn't want the joy of playing to be overwhelmed by anxiety either. Fortunately, the second the whistle blows on the first jam I play my nerves are 99% demolished by pure adrenaline and excitement. It's really hard to have room for anxiety when you're trying to avoid being tossed through the air by an opposing blocker.

But like I said, this year will be different. Already the weeks leading up to now have been more calm, mostly due to the fact that we're becoming old hands at this bout production business. I've also bouted enough times that I'm beginning to get into the rhythm of the dreaded waiting-for-the-first-whistle-to-blow moments.

It also helps that this last Sunday some of my teammates and I traveled to South Boston to scrimmage the Boston Massacre (Boston Derby Dames' phenomenal all-star team, 14th-ranked nationally) as part of a mixed-team of skaters from several New England leagues. There's nothing like getting your butt wrapped up and handed to you in a neat little package by a bunch of really nice skaters to remind you that you won't actually die at the hands of the opposing team, that derby is fun, and that no matter what happens in a game you will learn so much and be that much better next time you skate. Plus, after spending an entire scrimmage skating against the likes of some of my personal derby heroes such as Lois Carmen Dominator, Claire D. Way, and Anna WrecksYa, pretty much nothing can scare me now. I'm ready to relax and savor the moment this Saturday. Bring on the axes, I can take it!

Don't forget, you can watch the Port Authorities take on Montreal's New Skidz on the Block this Saturday, September, 13th, at 6 pm at the Portland Expo. Doors open and the Pubcrawlers start playing at 5 pm. Ticket information and more details at mainerollerderby.com.

Grrr, Let It All Out

I've got some surprising news for you. Roller derby is NOT an outlet for my pent-up aggressions. It's not an excuse to "hit girls." I don't have a hard day at work and then go to practice to get all grrrr-face and go ballistic on skates. And if I wanted to get in fights I'd go back to junior high and take all those girls up on their offers to kick my ass. Why is this a surprise? Perhaps it's not to some, but I find that the average media coverage of roller derby frequently frames the physical aspect of what we do as being all about getting your aggressions out (also frequently employing the tired librarian/social worker/scientist/mom-by-day and monster-on-wheels by night analogy as well), and I find that way too simplistic.

I don't have pent up aggression I need to work through (well, ok, maybe sometimes I do, but it doesn't particularly come out when I hit other women on roller skates). I don't deny that roller derby is great in part because women are not generally taught or given such outlets to be highly physical with each other, or with anyone. Roller derby is definitely a venue for that, as well as for other things we're not encouraged to do, such as working together to build a business and a community rather than snarking at each other about looks and status.

Roller derby is, among other things, an outlet for being physical, making myself stronger, and for being competitive. I play roller derby to push myself beyond what I thought I could do, both physically and mentally. When I go to practice or play a game, I know I'm going to sweat a lot, gasp for air, focus, overcome minor pain and discomfort, strategize, philosophize, fall, get up, feel the strength in my body, feel love for my leaguemates, laugh, occasionally be annoyed, often be amazed, and leave stronger and happier than I went in. I'm not saying it's all kittens and hearts and rainbows…I have bad practices, I get frustrated with people, they get frustrated with me, and sometimes I leave thinking "wow, I suck at this."

But for me, and I suspect for most skaters, all of the positive things I get from the sport of roller derby, and particularly from my league, release any negative emotions that carry over from the rest of my life far more efficiently and completely than this notion of "me angry, me feel aggressions, me hit girl go boom."