Whip it Good!

Roller Derby on Newsweek!

Featured this week as a video blog on Newsweek was Boston Derby Dames and Gotham Girls Roller Derby. This is particularly huge for the roller derby community as we are working to bash those stereotypes of roller derby depicted as a staged, fake event. Flat-track roller derby is a SPORT, people! It's hard to be recognized as such because of it's history and it's quirkiness, but I assure you, my friend, Roller Derby is a sport.

This is such a big deal for roller derby. Most of our press coverage is teacher-by-day-hell-on-wheels-by-night type of crap. While it's exciting to play up injuries and "personas" (which, on our league, just doesn't exist), it does nothing for legitimizing the sport.

I've got Olympic dreams. I want to see roller derby on ESPN. Maybe it won't happen until years after I've retired, but I want to see it happen. Good grief, I love this sport.

The video blog is found at www.newsweek.com/. You've got to search on the right of the home page in the video blogs where you'll find the two-part series.

Guide to the best bouting experience

The Portland Expo's maximum capacity for roller derby bouts is 2200. The most we've had so far was a little over 800 people at one time and we're expecting a few hundred more this season.
Here are some tips for the best experience:

THE BEER GARDEN
This is a gated area where those 21+ can purchase and drink beer. Cash only and bring your ID. I'm guessing between 250-300 people can fit in there. The best view of the game is standing along the gate or sitting at the top of the bleachers. You don't want to sit at the bottom row of the bleachers because a hundred people will be standing in front of you.

TRACKSIDE SEATING
You may sit on the floor around the track. There is a taped circle 10 feet outside of the track. You must stay behind this at all times. Sitting trackside is at your own risk. We suggest that anyone under 18 does NOT sit trackside.

BLEACHERS
There are two sets of bleachers on the left and right of the track. The set to the left have the team benches and scorekeepers in front. The skaters are required to sit when not skating as not to obstruct view from fans. There will be managers & coaches standing in the area, so they may block some view, but you also get the inside scoop on team strategy, line-ups and penalties. This side also has the penalty box. The right side isn't as exciting, but you will have a pretty good view of the game.

HANDICAPPED
There is a small area in front of the beer garden taped off for our handicapped fans.

MRD vs. Western Mass Destuction (Sept 07) at the Portland Expo
photo by John Santerre

TIPS FOR FANS
1. Bring Cash.
2. Hold onto your program if you want an autograph after the bout.
3. Doors open at 5 pm. Come early and save a seat. You won't be bored because the band plays until 6 pm.
4. Bring a camera - rollergirls are wicked photogenic and love to be photogaphed with their fans. Warning!! - should you get close you will inhale a pungent stank.
5. After the bout, party with the skaters at Rivalries. Rollergirls love to eat and drink about a big game. Both teams attend and celebrate together.

Past, Present & Future

After an off season (of skates, not business) through the holidays, Maine Roller Derby is back in full effect. Here's the scoop on the 2008 Season.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED

* New Recruit Day brought in a dozen or so lovely Fresh Meat ladies who are training hard to be the next big roller derby sensation.
* Our Anti-Valentine's Day event was a terrible success with tons of people supporting our hatred of love. Feel it Robot and Don Creeper provided live music and the rollergirls read letters and poems of hatred.
* Maine Roller Derby has two official teams scheduled to play interleague bouts against leagues all over the East Coast and Canada! The Port Authorities is made up of the all-star players. The Calamity Janes is made up of the fabulous girls who rock the track, but haven't yet excelled to all-starness.
* The Port Authorities played their first exhibition bout against the Boston Massacre in the Shriner's Auditorium in Massachusetts on March 8. The bout was a short 30 minute period of helmet-rattling fury. The Massacre won (81-51) and the Port Authorities left with a long list of training to-dos before the first official bout of the season.

WHAT'S COMING UP!

* Our Lucky Lass Throwdown is scheduled for this Saturday (March 15) at Bubba's, where there will be plenty of dancing, leg-wrestling, arm-wrestling and other shenanigans.
* The 2008 Bouting Season!!
April 12: Port Authorities vs Rhode Island Riveters
with live music by Lovewhip
May 3: Port Authorities vs Long Island Roller Rebels
with Edith Jones Project
May 17: Port Authorities vs Connecticut Stepford Sabotage
with Lady Kensington & the Beatlords
June 7: Calamity Janes vs Providence Killah Bees
with Feel it Robot
Sept 13: Port Authorities vs Montreal
Sept 27: Calamity Janes vs NH Skate Free or Die
Oct 11: Port Authorities vs PA Coal City Rollers

All bouts are at the Portland Expo on Saturday at 6 pm. Bouting music provided by wepushbuttons. Advance tickets cost $10. Tickets at the door are $12 for adults, $5 for kids aged 6-12 and free for kids 5 and under.

*The Calamity Janes will travel to New York to play the Hudson Valley Horrors (the team MRD played during the heat stroke bout of 2007) on June 28.

WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW

*We're all training our sweet butts off 2-3 times a week, gearing up for the a season against more challenging teams and preparing our Fresh Meat for the track.
* MRD is also working to give back to the community in the following ways.
1. Look for a booth with art at the bouts. This art work is for sale with all proceeds going to the Frannie Peabody Center.
2. Bring a donation (canned goods, personal care products, non-perishable foods) to the May 3 bout and receive $2 off the $12 bout ticket. These donations go to the Preble Street Food Pantry.

Get your tickets for the 2008 season now! We packed around 800 people in last time and are expecting an even bigger turn out this year!

Go to www.mainerollerderby.com or any Bull Moose Store for tickets.

Thanks and see you at the bout!

Are you for Real?

We've been recruiting since derby existed in Maine. I'm jealous of my hometown, Pittsburgh, where they started the Steel City Derby Dames the same time MRD started up and they have something like six teams. Maine just doesn't have the big population pool to recruit from.
We rollergirls are always sizing up women, talking to them about joining, and at almost all of our events there are tons of girls - usually drunk ones - that are pumped to join derby. We all get excited about our new friends and potential derby sisters. But, alas, we never see their faces again.

Last Sunday, we held our first "Recruitment Day," which was quite successful. We had 17 girls sign on and jibber about how they want to skate with us. This is fantastic. And even more fantastic is that a few actually showed up at Tuesday's practice.

But I'm not getting my hopes up. I've waisted far too many nights blubbering about how derby is so wonderful and how it changes your life, blah blah, and been burned far too many times by girls with their fake promises of joining.

So hey new derby girls - let's see what you're made of. Don't let your commitment-phobia ruin it for you and the rest of us! PROVE YOURSELVES!