During the dance we do called love, relationships and dating, when does the risqué outweigh the benefit?

This past weekend I found the answer to that question in regard to someone I have been considering stepping onto that preverbal dance floor with. The moves started months ago with a simple lunch date extended to me on the back of a credit card slip while he was settling his tab at a local bar. Over the next couple months we exchanged various text messages and voicemails but had yet to actual speak live over the phone or in person. Finally after about 3 months we met out for a drink. It was pleasant and the conversation flowed easily. He was polite, considerate and treated me how I like to be treated by a man. That is being the man, i.e., getting the drinks, finding the table, paying the bill, walking me to the car and knowing when the night was over without pushing his luck. Oh, and asking me out for brunch a couple days later before the first date was over.

Sounds good so far, right? Well, here's where its gets kooky. From then on I continued to get text message invitations to get together with him but they were never followed up with any actual specifics about where and when to meet and then he would disappear for days after and just send me another random invitation. Then it got to be that the offers only consisted of me going over to his condo or him coming to my house. I was leery of that since I had only spent two hours with this virtual stranger!

Finally I decided to stop tip-toeing around the issue and just be honest about why I didn't want to go to his house or have him come to mine. His reply was that he didn't want to have to be “all sophisticated and have to go out on all those dates” (all being one at this point) and wanted to skip right to hanging out at home together... HOLD UP! Isn't this the booty call I was talking about a couple entries ago? When I called him on it he denied it. I told him that I didn't need to be sophisticated; our meeting could be a beer and a pizza but that I wasn't comfortable at either one of our homes yet. And here was the tell tale sign that the risqué of getting to know this person was way outweighing the benefit of what he might have to offer. He did not care how I felt about it and was only put off to have to think about making an effort to go and meet some where. BIG WARNING! You all know if they won’t make that effort in the beginning to impress someone new, they're not going to make it during a relationship…. EVER! I told him that I wasn't looking to change him and to have a good night. I promptly deleted his number from my phone.

No need to find out more. I don’t have any patience anymore for not being treated the way I deserve to be. Time to move that one (guy that is) off the stage so the next one can audition….as my mother would say. Just one of her many sayings…we’ll talk about that more another time.

What other signs tell you the risqué is not worth the benefit?
Love is a gamble for sure, how much are you willing to risqué?