“After all, baby, remember what they say- sometimes the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

Isn’t that the truth! These are the words of a wise man, Richard from Texas, in Elizabeth Gilbert’s popular book, eat, pray, love. And, I totally agree. Far more often it’s not how we feel about the other person we are hung up on but rather how they make us feel about ourselves that makes us get weak in the knees, warm in the heart or totally psycho obsessed. So, when things fall apart and we have to go through that god awful period of time to get over someone we seem to be stuck on, doesn’t it make sense to try to find someone else that makes us feel good?

Our ego’s rule more of our happiness than we often admit. We all need that ego stroked. Our need to feel wanted and to please or pleasure someone else rules most of our being, for good, bad or ugly. Why not put yourself in a position to feel these needed emotions? If you’re getting over someone the fact is that your self esteem will be down due to a lack of feeling desired. Why not find someone else that will help pump you up? When your instinctual needs have not been being met it is impossible to make practical decisions…which are what any long term relationship requires. You won’t have the patience or desire to wait for a table at a fine dining restaurant when you haven’t eaten all day… McDonald’s may suffice since you are completely starving. Don’t place your order for your next soul make like you’re ordering a Happy Meal.

Get those basic needs met first! It’s human nature. Go out, be around positive people. Flirt, converse, take some calculated risks. Enjoy being the center of attention. Make plans to get to know some new players and get an opportunity to put them up to bat. Don’t plan on falling in love, just enjoy the ride. Once your animal instincts are fulfilled and you get the confidence back up you will realize there are plenty of opportunities to audition new people for that leading role in your life. Only then will you be in a better position to make a sensible long term choice. And what the heck, you may have a lot of fun in the process. Or just a lot of stories to share with your friends!