X-ORCISM
You've all been there... had a relationship that you believed in, hoped for, opened up to more than any others before and then it happens... you get screwed! Well, not literally, but that person that you trusted, believed was your soul mate, best friend, partner, companion, etc., does something unforgivable. We call it the unspeakable.
So how do you rid yourself of the anger, frustration, hurt, disappointment, shock and lost feelings? How do you stop being mad that you even have to be mad? You perform the X-ORCISM! Wikipedia defines exorcism as the practice of evicting demons or other evil spiritual entities from a person. I define the X-ORCISM as telling the jerk exactly where to go and then purging your life of all things that had anything to do with them. What I really want to say might not go over so well on MaineToday.com so trust me that when I say "tell them where to go" that I mean a much more strongly worded statement!
So, move out, if you live with Satan... stay with a friend temporarily if you need to. Lose the phone number. Or do what one of my friends did and reprogram the name that appears on your phone when they call to something that will force you to remember you don't want to deal with them, like don't answer dumbass, or call some one who cares, or waste of time, well, you get the point. Block their email. Send all the crap they still have at your house back to them or better yet donate it or throw it out. Here's one I love. Go to xboyfriendjewerly.com and list the all the jewelry they gave you for sale and don't forget while you're at it to vent about it online in a little write up to accompany your item.
And once they do the unspeakable, we then call them the unspeakable. So, as hard as it is, stop talking about them to your friends and family. Any more energy expended on someone who cares so little about respecting you, protecting you or caring about you, is like salt in the wound. I think pretending that they don't exist is the best X-orcism. So without a doubt, do not go anywhere you know you might run into them. The hell with standing your ground and putting up the old protest of "I'm not going to change my routine for them." Do it, change your routine, the negativity that will come from running into them or worrying about it is NOT WORTH IT! And they don't even deserve to see your reaction. The worst punishment is to let someone have to sit with their own bad actions, so let them sit As my mother always says... all the dirt comes out in the wash. Translation: They'll get theirs... what comes around, goes around. You don't have to be the one to do it. Stay true to yourself; continue to be the good person you are. You are the one that can sleep well at night knowing you are ok with your actions.
I know if you’re like me, you want to even the score or make them hurt back but the best revenge is being the best person you can be. And as a really good friend from college told me once... only surround yourself with positive people. Refuse to be sucked into the negativity. Don't wait perform the X-orcism today and move on!
What did your last x-orcism consist of?
Comments
Having been through this myself only 6 months ago I agree with everything you say. Just remember you have a wonderful life, you're a valuable person, and live life to the fullest every day knowing that it's in your hands completely. Having just come back from a vacation that my ex boyfriend would be jealous to know I was on (he was a surfer...and I just went to a weeklong surf camp in Costa Rica), do something you've always wanted to do for yourself. Even if you do it alone...it will be so empowering and wash away every negative feeling that is lingering. This past week as I watched the sun go down on the water, sitting on my surfboard, I let it all go. Every last residual feeling, and realized the power I had in myself to make my own life, alone, or not. I'm my own best friend. :) And the next lucky guy that falls into my life is going to be very very lucky to have met me.
Keep up the great advice and insight Isabella.
May 4, 2008 01:00 PM





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Wow. Have you been living my life lately? LOL. Especially the moving out part. Great advice and very applicable. The hard part is what we call the "Transistion Period". That time when you are at a loss at night when you would normally cuddle, make dinner together or even worse..the weekends. The best thing I think is to go into friend mode. Hang out as much as possible with them, call them when you want to call him, and do so much that when you go to bed your to tired to even think about him.
Posted by can't sayEasy to say..hard to get through. Thanks Isabella!
May 1, 2008 05:54 PM