Cinco de Mayo or is it Mayi?

May I see your naked photos on your cell phone that is? This was the predicament (well maybe it wasn’t a predicament) I found myself in on Cinco de Mayo this past week and, in fact, enough times recently that I had to write about it. What kind of Risqué world are we now living in that even I, to my friend’s shock, carry around naked photos of myself on my cell phone? When did we all become so needy for our egos to be constantly stroked that we show them to perfect strangers looking for the almighty “oh yeah …that’s hot” comment? And how did it become common place that after a man has been “hanging out,“ no pun intended, with you for some period of time, long or short (the time that is), that he feels the need to send a photo of his male essence to your cell phone? Presently I have two stored on my phone that were sent to me recently!

When did such Risqué Business become so common place? For me it was just last week.

There I was at Margaritas with the girls for Cinco De Mayo minding my own business with a Corona Light (the light was justification for the next) and the Nachos Cowabunga (at least they aren’t the ones I hear are served in Costa Rica, called Nachos As Big As Your Ass!) and in walks trouble. It’s really true if you’ve watched the secret, the laws of attraction are at work all the time. I’m just keeping to myself but apparently my brain is omitting “trouble,” probably based on an encounter from the previous weekend (that we will now and forever refer to as the unspeakable, see last blog X-orcism). So where does “trouble” wind up? Parking his ass right down next to me as if to say, hello babe… I am the devil himself, just what your brain has been thinking about. And the facts start to unfold… He’s a cop, hmmm this is my MO for sure, Coast Guard, Navy Pilot, Cop, Army, Marines, my “favorite” type. And his name is Mike… now for those who know me and one of my best friends who actually wrote me a song call the Mike song, you would see how ironic or not ironic this really is, refer to previously mentioned unspeakable and many other by the same name. Ok, that’s 2 strikes. The conversation and the game play volleys back and forth to see who can intrigue the other the most at this point, bad boy vs. bad girl, I’m all in. “So, let me see your badge,” I say. He flips it open and hands it to me. And there it is, the last strike, his last name is the same as previously mentioned Navy Pilot above, my sister would refer to as the fly boy, I dated a couple summers back. Man, I am such a magnet! But do I fold? Nope, stakes are higher more now then ever… and then the question comes from the Officer, “Would you like to see my naked photos on my phone?” Wow, he really needs some reassuring. Visually one would not think so, however I have find those guys that look like they don’ t need the constant encouraging, really are the ones that do, that’s why they look the way they do, to make them feel secure. Anyway, to his surprise, I launch back, “do you want to see mine” and the school time game of “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours” is in full gear. He ends the encounter by programming my number into his phone and calling my phone so I have his. That last ritual that so many of us do even though we know neither one of us will act on it. And the game goes on…. But who knows maybe he will use my number to send me the remaining photo I need to for my phone to be the perfect trifecta of manhood!