The Call of the Wild

Do you have an animal instinct when it comes to nature? Do you go wild for the wild? Does all that fresh air go straight to your libido?

As I spent the day snowshoeing up a mountain in New Hampshire this past weekend it occurred to me that there was nobody, and I mean nobody, around. Part of that was scary and part of it very liberating. I could do whatever, with whomever, I wanted and nobody would know. Why is it when we are given that freedom we automatically want to push our limits and do things that we shouldn’t? Or should we? Is there something instinctually ok with that or are we supposed to be more refined or domesticated then that? Does the freedom of the wild make us wild?

What are your outdoor adventure stories? If you don’t have any and perhaps you want to try, check out this book I found on Amazon.com, Sex in a Tent: A Wild Couple's Guide to Getting Naughty in Nature by Michelle Waitzman. It looks very witty and why not? 2 out of the 3 comments left by readers were very positive. The 1 negative comment was clearly made by someone who took it way too literal and might need a little more action in a tent, or anywhere for that matter, to loosen up a bit.

Apparently this is a bigger topic than I originally realized, upon further research I have found several more books including, How to Have Sex in the Woods by Luann Colombo and Sex in the Outdoors: A Humorous Approach to Recreation. 53 copies on Amazon of the last one, new and used, are available starting at only $.01! So, If nothing else a good gift for your outdoorsy friend or family member. But chances are if they already spend a lot of time in the woods they already have a good reason for doing so and you are the one that should make the quick read to expand those horizons.

So even though it’s still winter, get out there and explore, pick a trail to blaze and go wild!

Isabella's 10 Dating Dos and Don'ts

I certainly don't claim to be the ultimate dating extraordinaire, I will reserve that honor for one of my good friends, but I think I have been single longer than most other people I know and most you probably know. Unfortunately I seem to have been cursed with choosing the unavailable. There have been the emotional unavailable with their mental hang-ups, insecurity issues, or inability to commit syndrome. Then there where the physically not available, the ones that were great but lived on the other side of the country (I always have a knack of inadvertently picking the only one in a bar that isn't from around here). Last and certainly not least are the ones that may be available emotionally and physically but not LEGALLY!

So all that being said, my single days certainly outnumber the days I have been in any kind of relationship and here is what I know to be true:

1. DO give off the right signals if you are interested. For women, make eye contact, smile, reach down and touch their arm or hand while making a point about something. Guys, be interested, hell act it if you have to, but ask her interesting questions and pay attention to the answers. Reference it later in conversation. She will be impressed you listened.

2. DON'T be or act desperate. No one wants to be with someone that is needy. Be fun, have fun and others will gravitate towards you if you are truly just being you and enjoying yourself whether others are paying attention or not.

3. DO have something in mind when you ask someone out. No matter which gender does the asking have a couple scenarios in mind to offer out as suggestions. As much as you think you are being polite when you say "I don't care, you decide" to someone, it shows lack of motivation, willingness to take a chance, and of personal interests and the inability to make a plan or decision.

4. DON'T over do the date. If you are having a good time enjoy it but don't keep extending the original date beyond what you originally planned in the beginning. When you’re excited, and maybe some other adjectives, you might not be thinking with your head. If you think you may want a relationship with this person, rushing into things on the first few dates is probably not the best choice. End the date when you planned and just look forward to the next one before you take it too far and then regret it.

5. DO expect the person to put their best foot forward. If they do not make an extra effort in the beginning they won't later and honestly don't deserve your time. They need to do all the basics, pay the bill, open the car door and walk you to the door, for the boys. Use good manners, don't interrupt and refrain from any profanities, girls and boys.

6. DON'T take or make phone calls or text messages! This is just plain rude. The other person has set aside time to get to know you. Don't be disrespectful of that time by not focusing on them while you are there. Make them the priority. If need be leave the phone, blackberry, palm, whatever in the car. This one’s a definite deal breaker for me.

7. DO talk about your interests, hobbies and passions. People like people who have things going on, are excited about life and that feel strongly about things that are important to them.

8. DON'T talk about your previous relationships. You’re not headed on a Carnival cruise so leave the baggage at home. There will be plenty of time later if you get involved to discuss what you have learned from other relationships. Talking about that right up front will give the impression that you are obsessing over it or haven't really let it go.

9. DO be realistic about your wants and needs. It's ok to recognize that someone seems to fit all the criteria you are looking for but there seems to be something missing. Follow your gut. There are plenty of wonderful people out there but they are not all for you. Acknowledge their good qualities in a genuine way and don't force yourself to make it work just because you want to be involved with someone.

And the number 10 Dating Do or Don't.... straight from my mother’s lips (I've told you there would be a lot of her sayings)

DON’T play in the trash! Once you have made the decision that someone is not the one, move forward. Do not go back when you are feeling lonely or don't have any other dates going. You already know why it wasn't the right thing, let it be and don't go digging around in yesterday's throw aways.

What are your dating dos and don'ts?

Risqué vs. Benefit

During the dance we do called love, relationships and dating, when does the risqué outweigh the benefit?

This past weekend I found the answer to that question in regard to someone I have been considering stepping onto that preverbal dance floor with. The moves started months ago with a simple lunch date extended to me on the back of a credit card slip while he was settling his tab at a local bar. Over the next couple months we exchanged various text messages and voicemails but had yet to actual speak live over the phone or in person. Finally after about 3 months we met out for a drink. It was pleasant and the conversation flowed easily. He was polite, considerate and treated me how I like to be treated by a man. That is being the man, i.e., getting the drinks, finding the table, paying the bill, walking me to the car and knowing when the night was over without pushing his luck. Oh, and asking me out for brunch a couple days later before the first date was over.

Sounds good so far, right? Well, here's where its gets kooky. From then on I continued to get text message invitations to get together with him but they were never followed up with any actual specifics about where and when to meet and then he would disappear for days after and just send me another random invitation. Then it got to be that the offers only consisted of me going over to his condo or him coming to my house. I was leery of that since I had only spent two hours with this virtual stranger!

Finally I decided to stop tip-toeing around the issue and just be honest about why I didn't want to go to his house or have him come to mine. His reply was that he didn't want to have to be “all sophisticated and have to go out on all those dates” (all being one at this point) and wanted to skip right to hanging out at home together... HOLD UP! Isn't this the booty call I was talking about a couple entries ago? When I called him on it he denied it. I told him that I didn't need to be sophisticated; our meeting could be a beer and a pizza but that I wasn't comfortable at either one of our homes yet. And here was the tell tale sign that the risqué of getting to know this person was way outweighing the benefit of what he might have to offer. He did not care how I felt about it and was only put off to have to think about making an effort to go and meet some where. BIG WARNING! You all know if they won’t make that effort in the beginning to impress someone new, they're not going to make it during a relationship…. EVER! I told him that I wasn't looking to change him and to have a good night. I promptly deleted his number from my phone.

No need to find out more. I don’t have any patience anymore for not being treated the way I deserve to be. Time to move that one (guy that is) off the stage so the next one can audition….as my mother would say. Just one of her many sayings…we’ll talk about that more another time.

What other signs tell you the risqué is not worth the benefit?
Love is a gamble for sure, how much are you willing to risqué?

Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll

How many concerts have you been to?

There I was last week meeting a friend for a drink after a really stressful day at work when low and behold we came face to face with the crowd lingering about due to the Ozzy Osborne concert. Once drinks were in hand, we found ourselves listing off all of the concerts we have been to all the way back to our childhood. I believe there might have even been some mention of Shawn Cassidy!

There were rock shows, pop shows, heavy metal, country performances and even some blues. What a trip down memory lane. I don't know about you but there are certain memories that I will always associate with certain songs and certain concert experiences. I particularly remember the Judas Priest concert where I received world’s biggest hickie, sitting on some cute guy's shoulders at Jimmy Eat World, getting pulled up over the front railing at Bon Jovi, having a guy punch out another guy that was mean to me at Velvet Revolver and oh yes, being so wildly in love at Guns & Roses.

So does that age old adage, Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll, still apply? Absolutely... well, hopefully without the drugs. But that thought was quickly squashed when I noticed the police outside with a man turned around, his face pressed up against the glass of the restaurant as they frisked him! I guess for some all three still do go hand and hand and hand. And it doesn't matter what the age, old, young, middle-age, everyone still feels sexy when it relates to Rock & Roll. Hasn't there always been a time that you wished you had been a rock star? And are you like me and even own the rhinestone studded tank top that proudly boasts ROCK STAR on the front of it. Or maybe worse the little black boy shorts with a star studded guitar on the front and the word STAR written right across… well you know where. Come on admit it!

Rock On!