Things to do in Southern Maine, investigated personally and described by Shannon Bryan
(with only slight amounts of exaggeration, digression and references to ostraconophobia).
September 19, 2007
Happy Maine-iversary
I've come to understand that to officially call yourself a Mainer, at least three generations of your family must have lived, worked and died on Maine soil. That's an adequate enough time to erase any bad habits that may have been picked up in other states or countries.
Lucky for me, the rules slacken the closer you get to the Portland city line.
It's been exactly two years since I fled the Midwest.
Two years since I announced to my stunned friends and family that I was selling whatever wouldn't fit in my car and moving to Maine ("Yes, Maine" I had said. "Of course you know it, it's that coastal state in the northeast corner…yes, the one with the lobsters…yes, people really live there.")
Two years since I woke up in a rented room on the East End, surveyed my colorful new surroundings, took a deep breath of the cool almost-autumn air and thought, "Oh my God…what have I done?"
Every day since, I've felt less and less like a visitor. And on Labor Day weekend I was feeling 100% local.
A friend and I had ferried back to Portland from Peaks Island, where we'd spent what might have been the last warm day of the year, with plans to meet a friend for drinks at Portland Lobster Company. But as the sun set and the air temperature dropped, both of us were cursing our short sleeves. Home - where the stack of fleece and sweatshirts lay in wait - was close, but not that close.
But, my keen friend noted, just across the street a row of tourist shops stood before us, flaunting their lobster magnets, Maine shot glasses and framed photographs of various Maine scenery. And just beyond the 99-cent trinkets rose a wall of soft fleece and cotton sweatshirts # each emblazoned with those familiar five letters: MAINE.
We didn't care, at first, about entering the shop, tearing sweatshirts from the rack and pulling them over our heads. We chatted with the cashier as we paid, and she told us a about a recent visitor who didn't approve of the store's Made in China merchandise.
"This woman got so offended when she saw our sweatshirts were made in China. She ended up laying down in the middle of the store in protest. We just went about our day and she lay there, going on and on about China and whatnot. Finally when we were closing my boss was, like, 'You need to go, we're closing,' and the lady went to stand up and whacked her head on a rack of hangers and my boss was like, 'yeah, those hangers are from China too.'"
As I moved toward the door to leave, the sudden realization hit me: a Portlander I may be, but a tourist I looked. And I wasn't a tourist. This is my home! I live here!
So I flipped the sweatshirt inside out. Phew! Misperception diverted!
Until the guys selling Duck Tour tickets meandered over and said, "While you're here, you should go inside that pet store," he motions over to the Fetch pet store. "They have all kinds of stuff for pets. People here just love their animals."
"Yes, I've been in there. I live here."
"So if you have time, go in and look around."
"I have. I live here."
Maybe two years isn't enough time to shake off the out-of-town look. Maybe I'd rather not completely shirk my Midwestern past. Maybe I should just wear the dang sweatshirt right side out.
And it doesn't matter if I look like a tourist. It doesn't matter if I pronounce the "r" in lobster. In my book, you are a Mainer if you 1) love this state and 2) consider Maine home.
Check, check.
Comments
Britt - It counts in my book! We can't help the silly decisions our parents make - but moving back helps make up for it.
Posted by ShannonSeptember 19, 2007 10:04 AM
Well Shan,
Personally, anything south of the Bath/Brunswick exit on I-295 is Mass. to me, AND I'm pretty sure it's five generations, BUT, you're fitting in all right. Maybe once you get up north for a liver punishment, you can take another step up. The inside out sweatshirt is a good start.
JC
Man, I hope I don't create a friggin' Nemitz-like S-Storm for that Mass. comment.
Posted by JCSeptember 19, 2007 10:31 AM
I feel confident that I can speak for the entire MaineToday.com team in saying thank you for sticking with us.
Now get back to work.
Posted by Carl NataleSeptember 19, 2007 10:59 AM
Just because the cat has kittens in the oven, that doesn't make them muffins...
-Maine adage on being a Maine-er
Posted by DMillerSeptember 19, 2007 12:26 PM
"In my book, you are a Mainer if you 1) love this state and 2) consider Maine home."
Well, Shannon... I'm not even there yet so can it count?? but I can say "check" to both of those already...
Posted by StarwalkerSeptember 19, 2007 12:33 PM
Happy Anniversary
Happy Anniversary
Happy Anniversary
Haaappy Anniversary
Pour a cheerful toast and fill it
Happy Anniversary
But be careful you don't spill it
Happy Anniversary
Ooooo Happy Anniversary
Happy Anniversary
Happy Anniversary
Haaappy Anniversary
September 19, 2007 01:39 PM
Ok, so I was born in Massachusetts and we all know what that makes me! However, I've been living in Maine since the 5th grade. In my book if you went to any part of grammar school in Maine you've got to be almost a Mainer. I still remember my first day about halfway through the 5th grade when the kids kept making me repeat "I Parked my car in Harvard yard" and they kept laughing at me. I didn't understand why? Maybe it's because when they said it it sounded like "I pahked my cah in hahvahd yahd!" I didn't understand what happened to the R's so I spent the second half of fifth grade re-learning my alphabet without the letter "R".
Anyway, I digress. I also remember the first time I met Shannon, fresh from Chicago, nasally accent an all. :) She may have sounded funnny, but she could drink beer with the best of them and she truly knew how to have a good time. I decided I'd spare her the Harvard Yard torture test, she seemed too cool for that one. Needledd to say I've been clamoring to spend time with her ever since. She has always had such a positive outlook on Maine since the day she moved here and has made me realize what a beautiful state I live in and how many wonderful things there are about living here.
So Shannon, even though you aren't truly a Patriots Fan yet, you haven't mastered the art of snow boarding, you've only owned show shoes for 1/2 a season, and you didn't quite finish the Beach to Beacon....I am proud to include you in the "from away, but almost a Mainer club". Besides, you drink more Maine Brewed beer than I do, so that has to count for something. Happy Anniversary!
Posted by AndreaSeptember 19, 2007 03:35 PM
In my limited view the proper take on living in these parts is a paraphrase of the loopy toast delivered in the Steve Martin movie "Roxanne": I'd rather be here with the people of Maine than with the finest people in all the world."
Posted by tomSeptember 19, 2007 03:48 PM
Yeah, we haven't gone on that pub crawl yet. I need to start "training"...
Posted by The Native TouristSeptember 19, 2007 03:53 PM
I think when I came from the midwest my family had the exact same reaction. "Maine?"
"Yes, the one in the corner, above Massachusetts...almost Canada. Yes, that Maine. You know, lobster, and uh Stephen King...lobster."
September 19, 2007 04:11 PM
...not till you talk way too loud and have drunk your weight in coffee brandy.
Posted by yamoSeptember 19, 2007 07:18 PM
Nothing wrong with pronouncing your r's. Don't be such a suck up! Nothing wrong with being a Midwesterner!.
Posted by MichiganderSeptember 19, 2007 09:04 PM
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Posted by BrittI just signed my fourth year lease as an official un-official "Mainer". I would have been a TRUE mainer but my mother had a temporary loss of judgement and moved away and THEN gave birth to me. But I'm back here, and she and my father are moving back next year. It's gotta count for something!
Even though we're not TRUE Mainers at least we're not "summah people"
September 19, 2007 08:59 AM