Anyone who intends on claiming the title "Adult" should be able to get herself fed.

There are other adult criterion too (i.e., remembering to pay the electric bill, putting your pants on right side out and showering semi-regularly). But the food thing is important (that whole calorie-consumption-is-required-to-sustain-life thing).

And I can do that…mostly. I can GET food for myself and consume it. It's the food preparation aspect I seem to have trouble with.

Oh sure, I can add milk to dry cereal with the best of them. But cooking? Baking? I'm entirely incapable.

When you're in college, knowing how to boil rice is sufficient kitchen know-how. No one asks the hard questions then, like, "Do you even know what 'julienne' means?"

But when you're damn near 30 and the burners on your stove are coated with dust…well, then you have a full-blown kitchen phobia.

So I figured now was as good a time as any to have it out and teach that oven who's boss - maybe tie it to a parking meter and smack it around.

My excursion to the apple orchards this weekend wasn't simply to experience the autumn tradition of apple picking. It was also a well-planned covert operation to secure a collection of fresh Cortlands in order to bake them into what laymen refer to as a "pie."

An apple pie satisfied my two recipe necessities: I'd been told it wasn't difficult to make and I knew it wasn't difficult to eat.

Initially I had considered making it from scratch, crust and all. But I was looking to build my baking confidence, not punish myself. So pre-made crust it was.

At the grocery store I picked up everything on the list (sans apples, which I had already picked locally, and sugar, which I always keep around for the coffee).

Once back home I wasted no time getting started.

The recipe said, "Press crust into pie pan…"

Pie pan? Who has a pie pan just lying around? Oh, probably everybody. Back to the store.

The rest, I'm happy to report, went swimmingly. I only sliced my finger once with the potato peeler. I only momentarily questioned what "thinly slice apples" really meant. (Is that healthy-weight thin or Barry Manilow thin?) And when I realized I had no aluminum foil to cover my masterpiece with, I remained calm and substituted an overturned foil pie pan instead.

The outcome?

Perfection!

Okay, the filling was a tad runny, but it's my first pie so back off.

Shore do look purty, though.