That whole jolly holiday spirit thing is suddenly everywhere.

Even up.

Last night on Congress Street I happened to look upward. (In truth, I was analyzing the absolute magnitude of globular clusters on the gravitational structure of unclassified molecular nebulae. Just a little something I do on the side.)

There, on the rooftop deck of what I imagine to be a condo of generous proportions, stood a Christmas tree.

It's that time of year for such rooftop spectacles.

It's also that time of year when Uncle Frank gets hammered at dinner, regresses to his high school football days when he was known as 'Frank the Tank' and inevitably tackles poor grandpa before the mashed potatoes are even cold.

But most importantly, it's the time for holiday-related e-mail surveys.

It's said that a person's true nature is exposed only in the introspective responses to an e-mail questionnaire.

I was once shocked to discover that a good friend of mine thought "Skittles" were the best candy to describe her personality. I, of course, was shocked by that information. I mean, you think you know a person and then to hear something like that. Well you can be sure I shunned her like a contagion.

But e-mail questionnaires can be entertaining in their own right. And it being the holiday season and all, I decided to let Christmas Spirit envelop me altogether.

So with good cheer and warm wishes I completed this Christmas-themed survey:

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Newspaper and duct tape.
2. Real tree or artificial? Real trees are easier to light on fire, but artificial ones are easier to harpoon through your neighbor's front window...but I have neither, to answer the question.
3. When do you put up the tree? See above, I have no tree
4. When do you take the tree down? I said I don't have one! Now BACK OFF!
5. Do you like eggnog? Yes, as long as it's made with hot chocolate and amaretto - and doesn't have any egg or nog in it.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? "Real Baby." It was an electronic baby doll that cried and blinked and moved around. Very realistic to a 7-year-old. Or wait, no, that was a real baby I stole out of a shopping cart at the grocery store. Apparently the "real mother" was not pleased, had me arrested and fought to ban me from all public places. To her I say: Where's your Christmas spirit, lady? Sheesh. Someone doesn't know how to share.
7. Do you have a nativity scene? Does a collection of Jesuses count? Is Jesus plural Jesi?
8. Hardest person to buy for? Why would I buy something for someone else?
9. Easiest person to buy for? Seriously - am I supposed to be buying other people gifts this time of year? This might explain the dirty looks I get from my unimpressed family on Christmas morning.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I prefer them mailed to me, thank you.
11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? 101 Dalmatian's t-shirt with matching socks (complete with paw prints on the feet for extra traction)...when I was 18. Thanks grandma.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Elf for the laughs, Christmas Story for the "fuuuuudge," and Fred Claus for the Vince.
13. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Alcohol.
14. Clear lights or colored lights on the tree? Both. I think all lights should live in harmony.
15. Favorite Christmas song? Baby, it's cold outside. But enough about the weather. I'm not sure what my favorite song is.
16. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Why bother? The only one who matters is Blitzen.
17. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Sneak peak Christmas Eve. Pretend to be surprised Christmas day.
18. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The realization that Christmas is the BEGINNING of winter, not the end. And now we have all this cold and snow without the hope of cool free stuff wrapped in shiny paper.
19. Favorite ornament theme or color? I've gone with "The Invisible Christmas" theme this year. Next year I'm planning for "Every thing's made of soda cans"
20. What do you want for Christmas this year? Peace on Earth. Or a vacuum. Whichever one is on sale.