The ice scraper won't stop crying and the shovel has sunk into full-blown depression (he's "useless," he says, and has this unshakeable feeling that no one really wants him around anymore).

The good news is, you'll barely be able to hear the self-deprecating wimpers once those objects of winter's past are tucked deep into a crowded corner of the basement.

The bad news is, winter sure marked her territory.

The melting snow has revealed trails of dropped garbage along streets and front yards - much like a passing glacier might casually unload the fossils of woolly mammoths.

Except the remnants of ancient McDonald's wrappers don't seem to garner quite the same interest (you know, anthropologically speaking).

We could leave all the garbage to be punted by the wind into the waiting branches of a nearby tree - but that sort of goes against the whole nature thing. Besides, trees already have enough on their plate, with all the growing and the photosynthesis and whatnot.

The spring cleaning is our responsibility. It's a solid "thank you, ma'am" to Mother Nature (who, Nor'Easters aside, is pretty damn good to us). Or if you prefer, consider it a down-payment on the impending near-perfection that is a Maine summer.

If you appreciate cleaning as part of a crew (thanks to that brief "involuntary community service" stint you did back in '85), get in on one of these upcoming group cleanups:

On the peninsula

Parkside: April 25
10 am-noon. Meet at 61 Sherman St. Fix-It Man and Hot Suppa have generously donated coffee and snacks to get everyone started.

East End: May 2
9 am-noon. Rain or shine. Bring a pair of gloves and meet by the East End Beach parking lot.

Eastern Cemetery: May 2
Get your garden on with Spirits Alive at the Eastern Cemetery in Portland.
FMI: www.spiritsalive.org

Bayside: May 9
10 am-1 pm. Meet on Oxford Street outside Pearl Place Apartment Building. Gloves will be provided.

West End: May 16

Not too far off

Scarborough Marsh: April 25
There are several locations being combed and cleaned, including the marsh, beaches and Route 1.
FMI: www.scarboroughmaine.com

Recompence Shore Campground: May 1 & 2 or May 8 & 9:
Camp free courtesy of Recompence in Freeport - simply lend a hand with the spring cleanup on Saturday and/or Sunday. Don't forget the BBQ lunch. 
FMI: www.freeportcamping.com

Cow Island: May 9 and May 16
Cleanup is a fine excuse to get thee to Cow Island and help the folks at Rippleffect. You'll need to pay your ride on the Casco Bay Ferry, but like that's hard.
FMI: www.rippleffect.net

Saco River: May 30
Join volunteers and staff from Ferry Beach Ecology School for the 10th Annual Saco River Canoe & Cleanup. Bring your canoe, kayak or skiff and join the flotilla and collect the trash along the river banks.
FMI: www.fbes.org/events/canoe.html