Mother Nature, it seems, is pissed about something. Maybe some Portlander stayed out late with the guys and forgot to call. Or she didn't get flowers on her birthday even though she hinted at it at least 20 times.

Maybe she's concerned about layoffs and has gone overboard showcasing her talents (which seem more like a threat, really. "Think it's bad now? Imagine what I'll do if you can me!")

I've tried to talk her down, but she's screening calls and not responding to email.

Whatever her current issue, the seemingly endless rain has put the kibosh on all things outdoors.

I was able to escape it for a couple of weeks back in Illinois (where, I'm not ashamed to brag, it was in the 80s and sunshiny nearly the entire time).

I returned to Maine this weekend with Out Going optimism and a long list of "must dos."

But there's no lawnmower racing if the track's flooded. Surf lessons are canceled, the kayaks remain racked and any and all outdoor music is watered into silence.

If I were writing for Highlights children's magazine, now'd be the time I'd suggest indoor crafting. Maybe popsicle stick picture frames or flour dough that sticks to walls when chucked hard enough.

But we're too mature for that nonsense. Besides, the "dough clean up" ain't what it used to be.

Even still, it's time to start thinking like a winter Mainer again. Turn thoughts indoors.

Perhaps avert your eyes to a multi-colored bust of Bill Cosby constructed from 1,000 JELL-O shots.

Wait. What?

Artist Andrew Salomone is mixing, setting and stacking the tribute in honor of Bill's birthday.

Once complete, famished audience members get to devour Cosby.

Andrew also hopes to stream the construction/consumption live online so "viewers at home can witness the gradual destruction of Bill Cosby's likeness and possibly some of the audience member's sobriety."

The bust begins at 4:00 pm and Andrew aims to have it completed by 6:00 at Buoy Gallery in Kittery.

Check the event listing for details

For more about the artist, take a gander at andrewsalomone.com