There exist three distinct levels of runnership:
1. Competitive 2. Fitness 3. Fugitive.

The third category being the "I only run when chased" set.

These are the folks who'll hightail it down Commercial Street in flip flops when prompted by a rabid dog or police warrant. And boy, can those guys run when motivated. It's darn near inspirational, until they stumble over an uneven curb or the police locate them hiding under the porch of a neighbor's house.

In honor of such exhilarating chases, the Cumberland County Sheriff's Office is hosting the 5K Fugitive Run on August 29 in Gorham.

For $15, anyone can register. Even those who swear they'll only get their feet moving on threat of prison time. And local public safety agencies will be represented as well, with awards going out to the fastest teams of police, fire and rescue and corrections officers.

This may be the first time some of you run with the police, rather than from them. And proceeds benefit Sexual Assault Response Services of Southern Maine (SARSSM).

Just think: you could transform from "community liability" to "community asset" in three little miles.

I didn't read any encouragements about dressing up like escaped convicts - either in bright orange jumpsuits or the more classic black and white stripes. But I think the idea is implied.

The visual of 300-400 fugitives running down the street (complete with cuffs and sharpened plastic spoons), interspersed by 200 or so officers, fire fighters and other civic do-gooders, would be quite the treat for an unexpecting passerby.

A heroic neighborhood grandmother may even intervene - sicking her chihuahua on one of the runners or tripping a few up with a well-placed cane.

Chaos could erupt.

If you're fugitive spirit has been tempted, check out the race details on www.cumberlandso.org/sheriff/5k.htm

Register on active.com