Speeding, evading police and other things not to do while naked

The Lewiston Sun Journal ran a story yesterday about a naked woman who was pulled over for speeding. She and a (clothed) male passenger claimed they had been in the woods and her clothes washed away in a stream. Riiiiiiight.

But it doesn't end there. Woman tells the officer she has to pee. Officer says "follow my vehicle." Instead, male passenger gets behind the wheel and blows past the officer, weaves into oncoming traffic and eventually comes to a stop before running over "stop sticks."

Shockingly, both the naked woman and her friend had apparently been drinking. Never saw that coming.

Admittedly, it's a fuzzy line that differentiates when it is and when it isn't OK to be naked. I think we've all felt the embarrassment of walking into, say, a grocery store and realizing, oops, no one else is naked.

So here are a few nudity guidelines. Follow them if you wish. Or don't.

When it is and isn't OK to be naked:

In the bathroom...
...taking a shower: OK
...passed out on the floor at Bull Fenney's: Not OK

In the mall...
...in the dressing room: OK
...in the shoe department: Not OK

In the kitchen...
...toasting bread: OK
...deep frying anything: Not OK

Showing up at the neighbors
...if they're nudists: OK
...any other time: Not OK

Swimming...
...in a private pool: OK
...at Fun Town/Splash Town USA at noon on a Saturday: Not OK

Jumping...
...into bed: OK
...rope: Not OK

Posing...
...for an art class: OK
...in front of a web cam sent to you in the mail by a new "friend" you met online: Not OK