Motley Crue's in town - and apparently running through the streets of Portland

Portlanders, on the whole, aren't an easily frightened people.

I think it has something to do with the eclectic, artistic and atypical population that converges here.

Por ejemplo: The ribbon and fire-twirling folks who sometimes hang out in Post Office Park during the summers. Or the gentlemen who'll create you a larger-than-life scorpion from a roll of tin foil in less than 20 minutes. Or the guy I spot regularly around town speaking loudly to himself in a fake British accent.

We're lucky to have them - those unique locals who keep Portland innerestin'.

One might even say it's a motley sort of crew. (Stay with me. I'm going somewhere with this.)

So when a group of big haired, tightly panted, makeup-wearing 80s rockers are seen running through town for no apparent reason whatsoever, most people aren't all that shocked.

For as the saying goes: Life is like the streets of Portland. You never know what you're going to see.

Of course there was the woman leaving the PMA who wondered aloud, "It's a little early in the day, isn't it?"

And the eight year old who clutched onto her parent's side and asked, "Mommy, what are they doing?"

And the two guys who whipped out their camera phones with the speed of kung fu fighters.

But on the whole, Saturday's Motley Crue Hash Run with the Portland Hash House Harriers was just another day in wonderful, strange Portland.


The run started at Matthew's on Free Street and quickly took a turn toward the West End and then down near the water under the Casco Bay Bridge.

Looking good, guys. Nice belly tattoos. And nice bejeweled groin.

If you're already looking ridiculous - on an afternoon run in 80s regalia - might as well take it all the way with an a capella rendition of "Girls, Girls, Girls."

The folks at Matthew's were altogether welcoming. So much so that a couple of hashers returned to the bar a day later with a blown up group photo.

The photo, I'm told, has been mounted in a place of honor on the wall next to the television.

A lucky runner left the hash with a pair of tickets to Wednesday's Motley Crue show. A well-earned prize for the wig-wearing effort.

More Motley Crue Hash photos

More on Portland's Hash House Harriers

A costume's worth a pair of Motley Crue tickets

Knock on a stranger's door on nearly any given evening, with a pillowcase in hand, and demand that free stuff or candy come forthwith and you'll probably be met by a firm slap to the face, a slamming door and possible jail time (if your neighbor's the 9-1-1 dialing type).

Show up to a Medieval Times party in jeans and a Patriot's jersey and you might find yourself denied the customary goblet of wine and instead lead to the pillory to be ridiculed as Ye Olde Buzz Kill.

Let's face it, costumes get you things. Plain clothes are fine for those day-to-day activities.

But if you want free stuff (and who doesn't want a little free stuff now and then) you need to dress yourself up a bit.

I should note, this is not a steadfast rule. Costumes DO ensure an increased likelihood of freebies in many social situations, but showing up to work or a court hearing in full Pope Benedict XV regalia will NOT win you a year-end bonus or a lesser sentence.

Something you can get with a bit of costuming? Free Motley Crue tickets.

MaineToday.com got their hands on some tickets for the upcoming March 18 show at the Cumberland County Civic Center. And with a little hairspray and some snake skin rocker's pants, you could win them.

That is, of course, if you don your best Motley Crue attire AND run with the Portland Hash House Harriers. The Portland Hashers are giving away a pair of tickets to the show during the March 14 Motley Crue Hash.

[The Hash House Harriers are the "drinking group with a running problem" I wrote about in January.]

Don't be afraid if your athletic ability is sub-par. The only qualifications for this hash run are 1) the ability to move yourself through downtown Portland by walking, jogging or running, and 2) a Motley Crue-inspired get-up that could frighten passersby. If you don't mind beer-drinking, even better.

The hash starts at 3:00 pm on Saturday, March 14 from Matthew's on Free Street (that'd be "The Oldest Bar in Portland," or so I've been told). The "run" is typically 3-5 miles, though there's plenty of stopping along the way. Run ends...somewhere. That's the fun of hashing. You don't know where you're going and you don't know where you'll end up. And in this case, you'll also look a fool running through the streets of Portland.

But isn't looking a wee foolish worth rocking live to Dr. Feelgood and reliving your 80s awesomeness?

March 14 Motley Crue Hash
March 18 Motley Crue show
POR-ME Hashers on Facebook
Questions? Email portlandhashers@gmail.com

Pub crawl? Nonsense! Pub run with the Hash House Harriers

Yesterday afternoon my pal Andrea and I stood at the curb, shin-deep in snow, waiting for the light to change. A car drove by, topped with a pair of surfboards strapped to the roof, and Andrea and I both wondered if the duo inside were on day pass from a local institution. "Where are they going? It's freezing out," she said.

But then, we were on our way to run three miles in the snow (and the cold and the wind) for no good reason whatsoever, leaving us little room to point the "crazy" finger.

We were off to Ruski's to meet up with the new Portland contingent of the Hash House Harriers. Best known for being a "drinking group with a running problem," hash members, it seems, retain two qualities: they're okay runners and great drinkers. Some of them might even be great runners, but that's not what hashing is about.

"We all have special names and offices, we have weird, embarrassing initiation rituals and strange traditions, and it's really...about getting people together and having fun." So says the Portland Hashers co-founder - who prefers to be referred to by his hash name, "I can't believe it's not butt hare."

The Portland Hashers came to fruition this past November and now have about nine runs under their belt, each starting and ending at a Portland bar. And while hashing in other cities and countries has been going on for decades, this Portland group is still in its infancy. Traditions are still being established.

But the essential concept is simple: A "hare" runs out first, marking a trail along the way. The rest of the pack follows suit, keeping an eye out for marks that indicate the correct path.

Everybody runs (some - ahem - slightly slower than the others) and the trail ends at a local watering hole. They start at a local watering hole too. And sometimes you stop halfway at - you guessed it - a local watering hole.


On the trail, an arrow is what you think it is. It points the direction. In drier weather, the trail might be marked in chalk, but yesterday's hare chose red Gatorade. It was a brilliant idea - aside from the few marks lost to the tragic pitfalls of post-storm snow plowing.

But when you do spot an arrow, yelling "On on!" alerts the pack behind you that an arrow's been spotted and you're headed the right direction.

But then, sometimes you discover that you're not headed in the right direction at all. This mark means, essentially, "Ha ha. You're going the wrong way." Then it's time to turn around to try again.

And while it may seem frustrating for those fast runners at the front of the pack (I wouldn't know, I've never been one of them) it's a welcome opportunity for the rest of us to catch up...and pant and clutch our quads in pain.

Yesterday we did get lost about halfway through, so I took the time to talk my legs out of a disturbing suicide pact they'd apparently agreed upon as I ran down Fore Street.

The lungs chimed in, not being at all pleased with the 19-degree temperatures, but were still altogether grateful for the fresh air.

But my feet, of all things, felt fine. Or maybe they didn't feel anything. Climbing over mounds of piled snow and running through slushy streets might've set them to go numb way back at the start.



So why, then, would anyone do this?

There's always the bar to look forward too, of course. And that feeling of accomplishment, if you're into that sort of thing. But mostly it's the bar.

And there's something to be said for weirding out the locals with on-the-street antics and inappropriate attire (though, admittedly, this run was under fairly decent control).

But hashing also a stellar way to meet new people who share a penchant for the run and a love of the drink. As I was told, "It's a great way to meet people. Not much makes a group of strangers bond faster than collectively making an ass of themselves."

So, so true. I've met some of my favorite people that way.

Once back at Ruski's, and after we'd each warmed up with our beverage of choice, the group went outside for the hash circle. I'd like to describe the goings-on, but it's really something you should experience without being tainted by my description.

Let it suffice to say that crude drinking songs and mockery were involved - all in good fun, of course.

While the basics are simple, hashing has its own set of intricacies - the kind that take more than one hash run to understand. But based on my first-timer experience, I'd say you're well prepared with some decent shoes, $10 for the bar and a healthy sense of humor.

The next run is Saturday, Jan 17 at 2:30 pm, starting at the Front Room on Munjoy Hill.

For more info, or to get the e-mail blast about upcoming hashes, contact the folks in charge: portlandhashers@gmail.com

Or take a gander at the Portland Hashers Facebook page