Competitive eating: It ain’t pretty

Warning: The following images may ignite an appetite for competitive eating. They may also kill your appetite altogether, possibly forever. View at your own risk.

The World Burrito Eating Championships came to Costa Vida in South Portland on Saturday. The thought of it brought back memories of the pie-eating scene in the movie Stand By Me. (The one that starts with "Boom-Ba-Ba, Boom-Ba-Ba" and ends with a gratuitous amount of throwing up.)

I'm equally frightened and intrigued by competitive eating, though I'd never witness the mouth-stuffing event first hand. So when I met Costa Vida owner Fred Abaroa at a networking event last week and he said, "Come on down Saturday," I did.

Gluttonous? Absolutely. Entertaining? Yes, in that it's-so-disturbing-but-I-can't-look-away kind of way.

Here, I'll show you:

Put ten minutes on the clock, line up the world's biggest eaters (and two really skinny fellas from Scarborough) and keep the burritos coming.

The eaters inhale burritos the best way they know how. Some eat hunched over like criminals in a prison cafeteria.

Some grimace, some palm the burrito into their face.

Occasionally they pause - maybe to "be in the moment" and reflect on the joys of competitive eating or because they have the sudden urge to become ill (an automatic disqualification, by the way).

Whatever the method, it isn't pretty.

Some just don't have the stomach to compete. One of the Mainers was only able to get one burrito down. Good effort, though, buddy.

Sometimes there's a tie for first. In this case, the crowd wouldn't allow the eaters to go home as equals. "Eat off, eat off!" they chanted until both first-place eaters agreed to a two minute winner-take-all eat off.

Eater X became the clear winner after Humble Bob stopped eating. His stomach, it seemed, was refusing any new additions. In fact, as Eater X accepted his $1,500 check, Humble Bob ducked under the table to (uh, how can I say this delicately...) let go of some previously consumed burrito.

An interesting event, to be sure. It didn't expect to get into it, but I found myself cheering along (mostly for the Chicago guy - partly because I'm from Illinois too and partly because I appreciated the "Lobster burrito" truckers cap). Though I can't say as I'll be having a burrito any time soon.