O Come, all ye faithful (specifically those willing to wear faux beards and Santa suits): Santacon Portland

'Twas 21 days before Christmas, and all through the Old Port

Some creatures were stirring - a fat, jolly sort.

The brewpubs and bars had been opened with care,

In the hopes that kind drinkers soon would be there.

A lone Santa appeared on Congress Street,

Headed toward town, with more Santas to meet.



Then a clatter arose in Monument Square,

Twenty or more Santas had congregated there!

Reindeer and elves and an advent calendar, too,

The poor onlookers knew not what to do.

Cars honked from the street and Santas gathered 'round.

And I knew in a moment: Santacon was in town.

But there were no toys to be found, no sleigh to be seen.

Santa without presents? That's downright mean.

But these Santas aren't real - not even near it,

But they'll drink all day to spread holiday spirit.

And off they go down the street! A whole Santa troop!

And look! There's Rudolph leading the group!

Into Empire they shuffle, still sober and clear,

And hail to the bartender to get their first beers.

"On Guinness! On Geary's! On Allagash White!

On Prelude! On Pabst! We're drinking all night!"

From bar to brewpub, they dashed through downtown,

And drew laughs (and confusion) from the people around.

And I heard one explain ('twas the elf with the tights):

Happy Santacon to all, and a debaucherous night!

Translation: Santas from all over Southern Maine will congregate for an evening of good cheer and bar loitering, beginning at 4 p.m. Dec. 3 at Empire Dine & Dance in Portland. The spirited parade will continue through downtown, with pitstops at other local watering holes for refueling and belly jiggling.

Want more info? Check the Santacon event details on Facebook

It's the most wonderful time of the year: Santacon 2009

Holiday prematurity. It's Fall's downside. Instead of basking in the early-morning delight of a time change, or the shovel-free mornings and easy commutes, we rush towards distant holidays with hasty fervor, tinseling the tree even before those dang Tootsie Rolls have disappeared from the Halloween candy leftover pile.

It's the two-month-long holiday binge I've come to call: HallowThanksgivingMas.

And I've learned not to fight it. Instead, I just try to go with the holiday flow. Ride a mashed potato cloud all the way to Christmas.

In that spirit comes Santacon 2009. You may recall the Santa force from last year (Here comes Santacon, there goes Santacon )

Santas from all over Southern Maine will congregate for an evening of good cheer and bar loitering, beginning at 4 pm December 5th at Empire Dine & Dance in Portland. The spirited parade will continue through downtown, with pitstops along the way for refueling and belly jiggling.

Maybe it's too early to think "Santa."

Maybe Thanksgiving has earned its due too and is sick and tired of being treated like a forgotten middle child who's forced to invent a fake boyfriend name George Glass just to get a bit of airtime.

Or maybe it's just a tryptophan speed bump on the way to Santatown.

For more of the Santacon details, see the Portland Santacon event page on Facebook.