Go ahead, make my clay: Sporting clays at LL Bean

It's not that I have a penchant for killing things.

Sure, there was that village of unfortunate spiders I de-legged during that curiosity-driven summer before fifth grade, but I've lived an otherwise pacifistic adult life.

And while I won't scoff at any area hunters (they have guns...I make it a point never to scoff at anyone with guns), hunting just ain't my shtick. Besides, two hamsters and a dwarf rabbit died under my care - I'm in no position to judge.

Even still, I've always wanted to try my trigger finger at target shooting. Non-living target shooting.

And to the chagrin of clay pigeons across Southern Maine, LL Bean offers just such an opportunity.

LL Bean's Walk-On Adventures are an ideal way to test your skills at an array of outdoorsy activities. $15 includes all equipment, instruction and an hour or two doing your thing.

I've been fixated on the Sporting Clays walk-on for weeks.

They actually let people like me use a shotgun. No background checks er nuthin'.

The adventure begins at the Walk-On registration counter within the new hunting & fishing wing on the LL Bean campus in Freeport. Sign-ups are first come, first served. Gratefully, there was still room for myself and a couple of cohorts when we arrived last-minute on Saturday morning.

The shotgunning does not, as I speculated, take place in the airy, kahki-growing fields of the menswear department. Instead, we boarded a bus and headed out to pastures clear of clearance racks and innocent bystanders.

We were met by LL Bean instructors Keith and Troy, who led us through the safety measures and rules of the range. And all but two of us students admitted to never having touched a shotgun. Ever. Like neva-eva.

Keith walked us out to the stations and gave some pre-clay-killing advice: "Don't look at the bead."

He never specifically said, "Don't kill anyone," but I think it was implied.

And sooner than I expected, we found ourselves, shotgun in hand, ready to scatter some clay. As teachers go, Keith was a comfortable blend of respectability, experience and old school "I'll blow your ear off from 30 paces" grit.

He directed us into the proper posture: hip into the rail, butt of the gun into the shoulder, cheek pressed firmly, neck long. And don't look at the bead.

First goal: hit a clay disk on the ground. One friend nailed it first try. Another was so shocked by the kickback, it was questionable whether she'd continue.

She did, and for an hour the three of us wowed Keith with our masterful skeet-splintering skills. The first trap chucked a target high and slow - and we were instructed to shoot during that pause between going up, up, up and now down.

The second trap was positioned close to our station, sending a target sailing away from the shooter. The result: the longer you waited, the farther away it got.

We felt like pros in pretty short order. And I discovered an affinity and talent with shotguns. Keith even launched both clays at once (from the two stations we'd already shot from) and I hit them both. It's like I was born to do it.

"Any interest in being a teacher here at LL Bean?" Keith asked in jest. We all laughed. And then I thought seriously about it.

Employment being as tentative as it is these days, I might need to take him up on the offer.

Me, teaching people to use guns. Nothing about that screams "bad idea."

For more info the the Sporting Clays Walk-On Adventure (or fly casting, kayaking, archery and more) check out the LL Bean Walk-On Adventures info.

Seriously a brilliant idea - and a cheap and easy way to try a new sport on for size.

Consider Sporting Clays highly recommended. For $20 I'll teach you myself.