The census also shows that Maine is continuing to lose its new blood, as young adults move away and leave their aging parents and grandparents behind. The migration has pushed the state's median age up from 33.8 to 38.6, the highest in New England.

Although some of the shift toward single-occupant households can be attributed to the aging of the population, it is also a reflection of changing lifestyles, experts say. It mirrors a trend that is affecting the whole country, as the American family portrait changes from "Ozzie and Harriet" to something that looks more like "Ally McBeal."

More people, especially women, are forgoing marriage to live independently. Divorce rates are high. Baby boomers' children are leaving the nest, leaving single parents behind.

In 1990, 27.1 percent of Maine households were occupied by a married couple with children. By 2000, that number had fallen to 21.8 percent. During the same time period, the proportion of people living alone rose from 23.3 percent to 27 percent.

Baby boomers in their 50s who are sending their kids off into the world are partially responsible for the decline in the number of married households with children.

"President Clinton is a classic example," said Richard Sherwood, a census expert at the State Planning Office. "His daughter is about through college, and he's on that leading edge of the baby boomers who are in their 50s."

While most Mainers still choose to tie the knot, there are fewer couples headed to the altar than there were a decade ago. Overall, the number of married couples rose less than 1 percent in the past 10 years. In Androscoggin County, the number of households with married couples has dropped 8.5 percentage points since 1990. In York County, it's down 6 percentage points.

The baby boomers also help explain this trend. As they move into middle age, there are fewer people coming up behind them in their 20s and 30s, the age when many people first marry.

But that doesn't explain it entirely. Nationally, while most states still have a majority of married households, there's a growing trend toward going it alone. In New York, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Louisiana, Mississippi and Nevada, unmarried people now outnumber married couples.

Even some people who consider themselves part of a long-term couple are deciding to maintain their own homes or apartments.

"I'm guessing here, but it probably has something to do with people's reluctance to make commitments," Sherwood said. "If you're going with somebody and you want to move in together, then it becomes the issue of whose house do we keep? And if I give up my house, what happens if this doesn't work out, if I want to move out?"

The increase in the number of solo-occupant households means it's taking more housing to house us. Maine has added more households than people since 1990; while the state's population grew by 46,995, the number of new households increased by 52,888.

And the statewide housing vacancy rate is a low 4 percent.

The demographic trend away from marriage has had a ripple effect in recent community discussions about what makes a family, and subsequent public policy decisions that give domestic partners many of the same rights and benefits as traditional families. Marvin Ellison, 53, lives in Portland with his partner, Frank Brooks Jr., 48, who is a social worker. Both men were previously married and have grown children.

Ellison, a professor of Christian ethics at the Bangor Theological Seminary in Portland, applauded the city's decision Monday to recognize gay and unmarried heterosexual couples as families and require agencies that get money from the city to do the same.

"We need to understand that people, over the course of a lifetime, are going to experience many different types of families," Ellison said. "We need public policy that reflects the reality of the American family rather than a narrow agenda that insists that only one kind of family matters. Social rights and responsibilities should not be dependent on marital status, but rather on our membership in the community."

Thomas Coleman, executive director of the American Association of Single People, predicts there will be more debates on topics like domestic partnership benefits as single and childless workers begin demanding equal treatment from employers, insurers and the tax man.

"It's still a couples' world in general, and it's still a married couples' world in particular, as far as favoritism by society," he said.

Some employers are already starting to offer cafeteria-style benefit plans in recognition that their workers who live alone may not need maternity leave or subsidized day care, but they may need time off to take care of elderly parents or want to make a larger contribution to their 401k.

In rural Maine, many of the single people living alone may well be elderly Mainers whose spouses have died and left them on their own. In Machias, for example, the proportion of householders who live alone rose from 36.1 percent in 1990 to 44.2 percent in 2000.

The aging of Maine's population is a longtime trend that shows no sign of reversal. Even in communities where the population is shrinking, the number of elderly Mainers continues to go up. Mainers who are 65 and older now make up 14.4 percent of the population.

There are several reasons for the trend. During the past decade, Maine saw a 22 percent decline in the number of adults ages 20 to 34. In addition to this out-migration of young people, communities like Damariscotta, Camden and Waldoboro continue to attract retirees, census figures show. And there's been a decline in birth rates.

The graying of the population raises concerns about who is going to care for Maine's frail elderly, and the high costs associated with that care.

Of course, medical costs will rise as more people need prescription drugs and long-term care. With more family members working or living alone, people will need more help caring for their elderly parents at home, at a time when nurses and other health care professionals are hard enough to come by.

"We're not finding it easy to support with state funds or federal funds the people we have in the system right now," said Kathy Pears, director of public policy for the Maine Alzheimer's Association. "When that magnifies two or three times over, the impact on state budgets is going to be overwhelming."

Last year a group called the Coalition for a Maine Aging Initiative held focus groups around the state to hear about the concerns of the state's elders, their caregivers and health-care providers, and to talk about gaps in the system. Among the major concerns were the lack of transportation in rural areas and a fear of financial ruin should a serious illness occur.

Pears said many elderly Maine women are being impoverished when their husbands get a serious illness. That problem could grow worse as the population ages.

Sharon Theofrastou, 62, struggled with her bills this winter after her 84-year-old husband, George, entered a nursing home because of Alzheimer's disease. Her husband is now on Medicaid.

Theofrastou teaches nutrition to seniors at the University of Maine Cooperative Extension Service in Portland, but it's not a high-paying job. She gets fuel assistance, but had to go into her savings this winter to fix a broken furnace and make other repairs.

"I basically lost half my income" after the illness hit, she said. "I have what I'm making now, which isn't a heck of a lot, and I'm still trying to run my house on it. I have good health benefits, thank God for that."

Theofrastou said if she had kept her husband at home, she couldn't have afforded home health care for him.

"It's more costly than a nursing home," she said. "Plus you can't get people that you know are reliable that are going to be there at the same time every day when they're supposed to."

Pears said throwing money at the problem isn't the only solution. She said communities need to start thinking now about how they are going to deal with aging residents. In Wayne, for example, the town developed its own elderly housing project.

"We need to just start a dialogue on this, and we need to do it now," she said. "If we wait 10 or 20 years down the road, that's too late. The train will already be coming through the tunnel at us." Staff Writer Kelley Bouchard contributed to this report.

Staff Writer Meredith Goad can be contacted at 791-6332 or at: mgoad@pressherald.com

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