When you come to a pork in the road...

What is it about runaway farm animals that we find so entertaining? Sure, we pick up the newspaper and read a headline like "Police capture elusive pig" [Morning Sentinel] and think "THIS is news?"

Maybe we scoff a little and shake our heads...but then we start reading it. And we read it all the way through because there's a strange man-versus-beast draw to the tale.

WATERVILLE -- A taste for French fries cost this pig its freedom.

Police then briefly stunned the gray pig with a Taser gun, then captured it with a snare pole, Rumsey said.
[Read the full story]

And quotes like, "You can't put them pigs just anywhere because they get away" don't come around every day. Er, maybe up north they do.

But the bestest, greatest, most wonderous facet of such a story exists in the story's online comments. This is where reader wit really shows its stuff. This is where competition begins: Who will come up with the ultimate pig-related pun?

See what readers have come up with so far, or throw in your own crafty commentary.

OMG! Carrie's coming!

From the PPH today:

Award-winning country artist Carrie Underwood returns to Portland with her Carnival Ride Tour on Oct. 14 at the Cumberland County Civic Center. She'll be joined by Little Big Town. Go to www.carrieunderwoodofficial.com for more information.

A limited number of tickets are still available. Tickets are $35, $45 and $55. Call Ticketmaster at 775-3331 or go to www.ticketmaster.com or call the civic center box office at 775-3458.

Mark's Hot Dog Stand 25th Anniversary

Mark's Hot Dog Stand - a staple in Tommy's Park - will celebrate it's 25th anniversary on Friday morning. The event won't go by without some theatrics, either.

Festivities begin at 11:30 a.m. and include a proclamation by Portland Mayor Edward Suslovic and a creative re-enactment of Mark's first customer (who was dramatically squirted with mustard all those years ago).

UPDATE:
See pics from today's celebration

Bike sharing: a Schwinn-Schwinn for Portland

The Portland Press Herald ran a story today about a new bike sharing program launching in Portland. Bike-sharing network takes off

Michael Scott had seen a bike-sharing program in Houston and was excited to come across a small fleet of white bicycles near Monument Square in Portland Monday.

Minutes later, he and Amanda Potter were pedaling a pair of the bikes across Congress Street. They planned to drop off some items at their home and go for a ride before locking the bikes back up for someone else to use.

"This is great for people who don't have any transportation of their own," Potter said.

Portland is once again part of a movement of cities worldwide with bike-sharing networks that are intended to promote green transportation by reducing traffic congestion and air pollution. Although the programs vary from city to city, they generally allow people to borrow bikes from self-service racks, ride them, then leave them for the next person to borrow.

Portland first became part of the trend in 1996, when free yellow bikes were placed in downtown bike racks. Theft and vandalism ended that effort.

John Rooks thinks the time is right to try again, especially with interest in alternative transportation and concern about global warming.
Read the rest of the story

Check out www.whitebike.org for details on the program, and to access the combination to unlock a white bike.

And please, don't steal the white bikes!

Freeport Cabaret opens in...dun dun dun: Freeport

We all know Freeport is a destination for tourists and shop-happy moms, but betcha didn't know you can catch some sweet jazz there too. Now open Tuesday-Sunday, this new destination brings a little life into an otherwise, rather, umm, stale nightlife.

www.thefreeportcabaret.com

How'd that there hole git in that doughnut?

The Portland Press Herald ran a great piece about the origin of the doughnut - more specifically, the origin of the hole that makes a doughnut a doughnut.

Hansen Gregory - a New England ship captain - regaled the invention in an interview with The Washington Post on March 26, 1916:

"Now in them days we used to cut the doughnuts into diamond shapes, and also into long strips, bent in half, and then twisted. I don't think we called them doughnuts then -- they was just 'fried cakes' and 'twisters.'

"Well, sir, they used to fry all right around the edges, but when you had the edges done the insides was all raw dough. And the twisters used to sop up all the grease just where they bent, and they were tough on the digestion."

"Well, I says to myself, 'Why wouldn't a space inside solve the difficulty?' I thought at first I'd take one of the strips and roll it around, then I got an inspiration, a great inspiration.

"I took the cover off the ship's tin pepper box, and -- I cut into the middle of that doughnut the first hole ever seen by mortal eyes!"

"Of course a hole ain't so much; but it's the best part of the doughnut -- you'd think so if you had ever tasted the doughnuts we used to eat in '31. Of course, lots of people joke about the hole in the doughnut. I've got a joke myself: Whenever anybody says to me: 'Where's the hole in the doughnut?' I always answer: 'It's been cut out!'"

Ha ha. That Hansen. Doughnut founder and a comedian.

Read the entire article from the Press Herald:
Maine's historical firsts include a leap of doughy inspiration

How badly do you want your Corona?

Somebody apparently wanted a 12-pack of Corona so desperately, he/she busted through a general store in Troy with a baseball bat.

You'd think - after expending all that effort - he'd go nuts grabbing all sorts of loot (you know, some Big League Chew or a few bags of Fritos. Maybe even some of those crazy-expensive energy drinks).

But alas, Corona vision took over. All the intruder took was the beer.

[Read the story on VillageSoup.com]

Yes, roll your eyes. Breaking and entering is an extreme level to go for a day's worth of Corona. He or she is clearly some degree of insane.

Now if it were Casco Bay Summer - THAT I could understand.