It may be grey but at least it's hair

News services have reported that 47-year-old Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama has gotten a little grey while making his push toward November.

Not surprising. Look what Obama has had to deal with already $ his fanatical longtime preacher, making nice with Hillary, losing a cockroach race to the McCain roach $ and he hasn't even been voted into office yet.

Eat good and get gas

Football season's here $ have a can of beer!

Or, well, maybe just schedule a tailgate party with World Harbors sauces and marinades.

The price of pee

You may have heard about the $5 million the city of Seattle spent for five high-tech self-cleaning toilets four years ago. The johns were set up downtown with tourists and homeless people in mind (though the homeless would surely have voted to spend that 5 mil on shelter rather than potties).

If the tux fits ...

Did you hear the one about the penguin who became a knight just like Sean, Paul and Elton?

No, really. True story.

Harvest on the Harbor tickets on sale

Hear ye, hear ye! Tickets for the three-day event are now available. [Buy tickets online]

"Harvest on the Harbor features seminars, tastings, and exquisite dinners crafted by renowned chefs from Maine and afar. Learn from food experts. Sip fine wines, beers and spirits. Enjoy an authentic culinary experience during one of the most beautiful seasons in Maine.

Join us on Saturday, October 25 for Gala by the Sea. Experience the culinary expertise of Inn by the Sea's Executive Chef Mitchell Kaldrovich along with two 2004 James Beard award winning chefs: David Pasternak and Sam Hayward. Tickets on sale now for Gala by the Sea at Inn by the Sea."

Peruse the schedule pf events

He works hard for the money

The economy's tough all over, even in Keene, NH. That's why Richard Rice, 40, has decided he can do just about anything for a buck -- including impersonate a Far East rickshaw driver.

Rice has started a new 3-wheeled taxi service in the city's downtown area. Because Keene's a college town, he expects to have plenty of business from tipsy students who shouldn't get behind the wheel.

So long poundage, hello lakefront

Manuel Uribe of Monterrey, Mexico used to be the world's heaviest man. Then
he went and dropped a quick 550 pounds and now he's steppin' out.

Uribe, down to 700 pounds from his Guinness record weight of 1,235 pounds,
recently made a day trip to a northern Mexico lake thanks to a platform
truck. A forklift hoisted Uribe and his bed, then dropped both onto the
truck for the ride to the water side. He snacked on fish and veggies. No
word on whether he wore a Speedo or board shorts.

Uribe's last venture out of his home was in March of 2007, when his
wheel-equipped bed was pushed into the street by six people. The effort was
cause for a mariachi band and a celebrating crowd. No word on whether Uribe
joined in the samba dancing.

Give me an E. Give me an L. Give me an E-V-A-T-O-R.

So, in the absence of either a phone booth, 26 cheerleaders walk into an
elevator. We're not saying they were chubby chunks but ... 4-3-2-1 ...
Ooops.

Busted.

The elevator, that is.

The elevator reached the first floor but the doors failed to open. Luckily,
some of the 14- to 17-year-old cheerleading campers just happened to have
cell phones. (Can you imagine?)

Officials at the University of Texas were not amused when police,
firefighters and an elevator repairman were required to extricate the girls.
One rah-rah girl fainted, was taken to the hospital and later released when
she proved she remembered the words to her school's fight song. Two others
were treated at the scene.

Rumor has it, prior to the elevator incident, the girls had built a human
pyramid inside a VW bug.

The Phoenix Announces 2008 Portland Phoelympic games

In an effort to stem the tide of everything in America being “Made in China”, the Portland Phoenix has created a local alternative to the Beijing Olympic Games. The 2008 Portland Phoelympics will launch on August 6th, focusing the eyes of the world on our fair city.

Those who tune in will be treated to Games free of debilitating smog, child-laborer, political oppression, and large, ancient walls. They will be spared the ennui of viewing out-dated, boring events like Track and field (aka ‘running, jumping, & throwing’) as The Portland Phoelympics will introduce a new generation of athletic endeavors, more challenging and entertaining than the world has ever seen.

Absent will be the crass commercialism that has usurped the integrity of the once-great Olympic Games. The Phoelympics (presented by the Portland Phoenix, your News, Arts & Entertainment Authority since 1999, & its fabulous video website thephoenix.com/video) will be completely free of corporate sponsorship (until we sell one).

The opening event of the 2008 Phoelympics, “Back Cove Volleyball”, will be held in the middle of the Back Cove on the morning of August 6th, in the middle of the Back Cove. Highlights of the Gold Medal Game will be viewable at thephoenix.com/video later that day.

“The Phoenix is proud to have created an international event worthy of the great city of Portland”, said Marc Shepard, Associate Publisher of the Portland Phoenix & President of the IPC (International Phoelympic Committee). “We expect the economic impact of these games on the city to be substantial, as we’ve already spent close to $80 on equipment & first aid supplies, and that does NOT include our bar tab.”