Yesterday we celebrated my youngest son's second birthday. Was it a lot of work preparing for it? Yes. Was it worth every minute of it? Definitely. But this was not how I always felt after one of my children's birthday parties.

"Practice makes perfect", the saying goes, and although not perfect, the birthday parties for my children do seem to go smoother and smoother. I have counted and I have now planned fifty-three birthday parties. I have covered all sorts of "themes" and activities and we have done them both at home and at other locations. Only a handful of my party ideas were originals, the rest were taken from books and websites, and I wholeheartedly recommend you do the same. Take the advice of those who have already tried something and let them tell you what worked well and what didn't.

After my fifty-three tries at birthday party success, I can tell you I have had my fair share of mishaps, but what was most disturbing to me were the times I lost sight of why we were having the party in the first place. I think many people are guilty of this. We want to give our child a day to remember. We go to other children's birthday parties and can't help compare our parties to theirs. We strive to throw the best party we can, but then realize once we set the bar that high, we need to keep that up year after year. We become so involved in the planning and shopping and cleaning and baking that we lose focus on what we are celebrating - our child.

A child cannot begin to understand all that goes into planning and executing a party, that is clearly something that is only part of the "grown-up's world". What a child can understand though, is the outward signs of impatience, yelling, and fatigue we exhibit while we are planning their party. I know this is not the message we want to send to our children, but often this is what happens. A child receives the mixed message of - "This is a day to celebrate, but it makes me tired, cranky and stressed".

It always amazes me what my children remember from their parties. It is not the games that tied into the birthday theme or the decorations that coordinated so well, but instead it is the moments that made them feel special. Children respond well and thrive actually, on tradition. Try to pick one or two traditions on which your child can look forward to and can count on to make them feel special. In our home, everyone wakes up on their birthday morning with the house decorated with balloons and streamers and they are also in charge of choosing their own special birthday supper. Maybe the tradition could be a special breakfast every year or wearing of a birthday crown (feel free to share other ideas). Choose something that is meaningful for your child, but not stressful for you to carry out.

Childrens' parties are meant to be fun, so keep them that way. That means for you the parent also! If a Martha Stewart-type party is your forte, then go for it. If a go-to-a-movie and order-a-cake-type of party is more your style, don't feel bad. What is important is that we celebrate our child and make them feel special and be able to look forward to their birthday as much as they do.

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