No One Said It Was Going to be Easy
Parenting is not for the weak of heart. Housed in those small bodies of our children are the strongest of wills and some days they seem to unleash in us emotions that cause us to want to act irrationally. This is where parents have to dig deep, remember who the adult is, and discipline accordingly.
What started my thoughts on this subject was my two year old reached another milestone in his life the other day. -His first time-out.- He is now at the age where he is trying out new behaviors and seeing what kind of reaction he can get from people. The behavior of the week is hitting.
Hitting his sister induced crying, hitting his brother induced yelling, but hitting Mommy produced something he was not ready for. It played out like this....
We were reading a story together and he was beginning to cuddle up to me and all of a sudden - SLAP!- right on my forehead. I turned to him, with a stunned look on my face I am sure, and said, "Will, no hitting." He looked satisfied and sat back down. I, too feeling satisfied, began reading again. About one page later, -SLAP!- on my cheek. I put the book down this time, and looked him in the eye and said, "No hitting, we do not hit." He smiled at me (smiled!) and asked, "Mommy Cry?"
"No, Mommy is not going to cry," I responded. "but we don't hit."
He looked straight at me and took another swing.
I again looked him in the eye and said," We don't hit. Please say sorry to Mommy and give her a hug."
"NO."
OK, Game On.
I picked him up, (this he did not like and started crying because Mommy had stopped the game). I took him over to a corner of his room and told him he had to sit there for a minute to calm down and then say sorry to me. Did he really understand what I was telling him? I'm not sure, at first. He immediately got up and started running after me, still crying. I picked him up again and put him back in the corner. This time as I walked away, I turned to him and said, " You need to stay." I think he was then understanding that his action of hitting mommy was not producing the results he wanted. He wanted to keep playing with mommy and by stopping that interaction, I had given him a consequence to his action. That is what I wanted to accomplish, more than just a mimicked apology.
As I left the room and shut the door, little did he know I was standing right outside becoming a little weepy-eyed myself. It is hard hearing your child cry out your name and not going in to comfort them and even though I was only out of the room for one minute, it seemed liked more. When I re-entered the room I tried to smile, and asked, "Have we calmed down now?"
Of course he answered "no", but that is his answer to everything lately. I said, "Well it sounds like you have to me."
I reached down, picked him up and hugged him. While hugging him I said, "We don't hit in our family. Mommy loves you. Do you love Mommy?" No answer, just some sniffles but I felt one of the biggest hugs ever.
Sounds like an apology to me!
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