As I was headed into the ladies room at Panera Bread today to change a poopy diaper, I thought to myself why do they only have these stupid changing table pull out things in the ladies rooms? I got all P.O.ed, opened the bathroom door and saw that there wasn't one in the ladies room either.

DISCLAIMER: I adore my kids, my husband is the most helpful you could ever have, and Mama said they'll be days like this. (She forgot to say they'd be back to back without a break though)

In addition to changing tables in gender neutral public spaces, what I'd like for Mother's Day is for this culture to experience a revolution. Is that too much to ask?

I want a true Mother friendly place to live. I don't even know what the heck it would look like, all I know is that it's Isolation Station from where I'm standing.
I think it was different for Mom's a couple of generations back. They lived nearer one another, and the women raised their kids together. It was just a short time ago that women delivered one another. The kitchen table was the place, the event, another birth.

What would it look like to have a country that supported motherhood as a vital part of the fabric of our national identity? Would we qualify for a stipend for our work? Apparently if you have seen MSN lately, our job earns $138,000/year.

Here's the thing, I don't care about the work or the money, I do it because it's for my family and there is nothing more important. What I care about is the lack of infrastructure if you will, the splintered resources, and the invisibility factor of motherhood. I swear I was a full blown person before this! Now I guess it's supposed to come NATURALLY, that I just dissolve all of my needs and desires into all that is motherhood.

Ok so I'm ranting and raving. My counselor says I'm running on empty. Isn't that what every mom with young kids is running on? Isn't that just the cost of fuel these days?

And if one more person says to me "wow you have your hands full" I think I'm going to freak. They already say, "oh the time goes so fast, enjoy it while they are young." I know that, it is going fast, and hearing that just adds to my stress. One day, it was just one of those days, I said to one of those people, "I think you are just forgetting how difficult it was."

Some of us have found our own ways of coping, I belong to a group called Mom to Mom of Maine. It's indispensible, and many a mom vents her frustrations to the lot of us on our private e-mail loop. We do other things together too, playgroups, mom's night out, etc.

I have ONE friend whom I can share all of these true feelings about being a mom with. And I think it is probably the same for the other women in my group. These discussions are not part of the public sphere. I guess for mother's day I'll skip "the kiss that begins with Kay" in order to spur a national conversation about the trials and tribulations of being a mom in the 21st century.

I happen to stay home, but will be going back to work part-time shortly. The only conversation that I hear going on is in regard to childcare. That is just the tip of the iceberg folks. We need to start asking why postpartum depression is so prevalent? Was it always, or now that it has a name it just seems like it's more common? Or is there more to it?

I don't know, but you go to your practitioner, talk about any of your frustrations, and see how fast you are on an antidepressant. Which by the way, there are a ton of mom's on something or another, (I was too, so I'm not judging.) We need real solutions.

Not just little get you through the day type of things, like let's go to the children's museum to kill some time. What about a mother's center? Ya, I'm laughing too, THAT'S THE FREAKING PROBLEM RIGHT THERE, I know what you are thinking, she's a flake, wow what a pipe dream, this girl need to get back on her meds.

Why is that so crazy I ask? A physical building for each county, where mom's can go with their kids and count on there being an activity going on. The kids could play and moms could have meetings on a variety of topics ranging from potty training, to our hopes and dreams. I can do much of this on-line, but it's just not the same. I haven't read up on any such thing as virtual potty training, but believe you me, I'd be signing up if I thought my boy could plug into this machine and suddenly be going on the pot.

I feel like I can't quite spit out what I am trying to say, it's like I'm pointing at the ray of sun, verses the sun itself. I am still trying to map my way through this maze myself, but if you feel like you know what I'm talking about, then please, point to the sun.

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