Every time I question my decision not to have children, someone comes out with blunt honesty about how difficult it is to raise children and how much your life is turned upside down, and how the simplest of things like cooking a nice dinner and drinking a glass of wine in the evening in silence are nearly impossible. I truly thank these people for their honesty and candor so that I can re-affirm my desire to remain in a loving relationship, yet childless. It's the people who tell you, oh it's worth it, or oh having children is a blessing, or once you have them you won't regret it, or oh someday you'll change your mind and it will be too late, that worry me. They never tell you about the days when it's not so happy, easy, or so much of a blessing. :) Thank you for your honesty on this topic, it's much appreciated.

I agree that parenting is challenging in different ways as the kids get older and that no matter what, it's a time-intensive proposition that lasts a lifetime.

But for me, the ways that were really difficult when they were toddlers/preschoolers has been the hardest so far. Now that my kids are older (almost 10 and 11), it really is easier in the ways that caused me the most stress and heartache about being their mom.

When my oldest was 3, she could only say 1-2 words at a time - and they weren't always distinguishable (all her friends could speak in clear sentences by that age). Because of this, she had tantrums and crying jags that lasted a really long time because she couldn't say what she wanted to. Trying to understand her was torture for both of us. After a suggestion by another parent I had her evaluated and she ended up in speech therapy. Having her be able to talk to me and be understood was huge and eventually it became easier for both of us. (But it took years - and tears on both our parts - to get to that point!)

I also found trying to reason with toddlers and preschoolers a futile effort and not a good time.

Although my girls still get mad when I explain why we aren't doing and/or buying something, they aren't throwing themselves on the floor and screaming about it now. They might whine and complain but to me, it's easier than the screaming fits they did when they were younger - and the attention they drew when we were in public - when everyone would walk and pity me for having such badly behaved kids. I had enough pity looks sent in my direction when they were little to last me for all eternity.

So I say going to the store - which you HAVE to do frequently to run a household - is easier now too.

I loved the girls when they were your kids' ages but there were days I would sit and wonder if I would ever be able to get out of the house without a meltdown and without it being a major production and that bummed me out.

But getting out of the house is easier too now.

Plus, it was a monumental time when they were out of diapers! Then there's the day to celebrate the less frequent potty breaks that used to happen EVERY time we went out when they were preschoolers. It drove me nuts to have to make pit stops ALL the time. We knew the color of the hand soap in every public bathroom within a 20 mile radius of Portland at one time. I'm not kidding.

Honestly, the prospect of re-living the girls' toddler and preschool years is probably the most UNnappealing proposition anyone could make to me! (A do-over for the 1-5th grade years would be OK though ;-)

So for what it's worth, it does get easier in some of the ways that really do make your life as a mom easier.