So when the going gets really tough, I throw my boys in the van and we drive.
Where? Usually I have no idea until we are somewhere around Portland, and I'm a couple sips into my soy Latte.

It's a great tactic really, they are safe, you can zone out and listen to the radio, and if you are real lucky maybe they will doze off for a few minutes. So I say when in doubt, and there is too much laundry and the playroom is leaking water from the roof (for instance) grab a good cup o' joe and avoid reality: take to the highway baby.

Today we went up to Bath. What a great little city. The city of ships. I have wanted to move there for quite some time, but it may just be another one of my "fix it" fantasies.

On another note, but the same tune, how important is your family when you are trying to raise your children? I think it is pretty darn important. Cause I am without, and I feel it. We have three sets of wonderful parents between us. One set is up in Bangor, the other in Alfred, and the third in the Netherlands. None are in our daily lives, or even every other day lives, heck I'll take once a week!

Maybe some of you can do it all on your own perfectly, (although I highly doubt it) But I for one need all the help I can get. I'm just trying to get through it day by day and some days are better than others.

I don't know how we do it.
Day in and day out, being a mom is hard work.
It makes no difference to me if you work or stay home, both have their challenges.

I keep thinking there is a magic loophole that is going to make it easier.
Haven't found it yet, let me know if you have.
Sometimes I tell myself that if we lived near family it would be easier, we could eat dinner together, the kids would visit gram and grampa, and my husband and I could have regular date nights.

Often I fantasize about a really cool family moving in next door. The mom and I are like two peas in a pod, our husbands get along, and the kids are fast friends.

I'd also settle for an immaculate and adoring au pair to come live with us. She has her own little studio apartment in the garage and she helps me in the morning (when I'm not my best). Then she plays with the kids from 3:00 until 6:00, while I make a gourmet dinner with a healthy glass of wine as inspiration.

None of these fantasies are becoming reality and I'm running out of things to tell myself. HELP!

The kids are watching a video at the moment and thank God for that.
This allows me a little break in the afternoon. I check my e-mail and blog.
I've asked many a parent if it gets easier as they grow older and get more independent. They all say this, "NO. It just gets different". Others will tell you it gets harder.

At least no one is lying to me, I can't tell myself anything about the future, all I can do is keep everyone in one piece for another day, (including me).

Ruben is 4, and fully potty trained.
I really thought he might be the one that went to prom in diapers.
But one day, with the help of a pair of boxer shorts, he decided to start using the potty. It's really nothing short of a miracle.

For the past month I have been looking for employment. I found a job at a very busy coffee shop in Portland. I loved it. However, it was not the mental break that I needed. So I served my trial period and decided that $7.00 an hour was not worth it, especially when you are paying your babysitter $11.00 an hour.

Maybe it's the Fall like weather, or maybe I am settling in to my life as a mother, I really just feel like baking and making soup for my family.
Moving to an island sounds good too, I just want to slow down and get out of the rat race.

But for now, I'm making a lovely thyme baked chicken with potatoes and carrots. I'm wearing my favorite Chamois, and being the best mom and wife I can be.

Only two left in diapers, and they are growing too fast. I pray I have learned how to stop and smell the flowers of my life, as they are many.