C.I.A. Improv at City Theater

Get your laughs watching strangers trip over the Old Port sidewalks if you must, but laughter is best when it's guilt-free and pure. And good, pure laughs are dealt out in good score by Biddeford's C.I.A.

Wipe that image of suited government men out of your mind - this C.I.A. is Comedy Improv Alliance. They started up last year based out of Biddeford's City Theater. And thanks to new sponsorship by Blow Bros./B.B.I. Waste Industries (no joke) they've got several shows planned for the upcoming year.

Lucky for us Portland folk, Biddeford is just an easy 60-cent toll away.

The City Theater is a well-kept classic amongst the aged mills of downtown - the old-school signage makes it easy to find off Main Street.

After paying $10 at the door, my friend and I opted for front-row seats (despite that nagging apprehension that sitting so close would make us easy targets for the "audience participation" referenced in the calendar listing).

While waiting for the improv festivities to begin, we were both handed three colored slips of paper and a pencil. One each slip, audience members were asked to supply skit fodder - specifically: a memory from a past family holiday, a sentence from a recently overheard conversation and something that - if you heard it in reference to another person - might make you think negatively about him/her.

The slips were collected and a few moments later the show began. C.I.A. "misdirector" Steve Burnette briefly welcomed everyone for coming out and introduced the night's seven players.

And then they were off. The first "game" was The Dating Game - and the audience was asked to give the each of the three contestants an unusual habit and a mood. The result: a hyper-giddy woman with Tourettes, an angry woman with excessive gas and a paranoid woman who repeated everything. And it was hilarious.

The players adopted their personas instantaneously - the gaseous woman cringing in apparent discomfort every few moments and waving her hand behind her to disperse the fumes. The curse words came flying - followed by crazed giggles - from the woman with Tourettes and Miss Paranoid's eyes darted with the fervor of an over-caffeinated conspiracy theorist.

The bachelor asked questions - though I can't recall a single one of them. The antics of the bachelorettes was too distractingly entertaining.

After the laughter and applause from that game died down, one of the players did what all comedy audiences fear most: She asked for a volunteer. My breathe stopped. I looked around (please don't pick me!), fiddled with my camera (not me, not me, not me), watched the walls (good lord, people, someone volunteer!).

Thankfully someone did. A high school-aged guy walked up on stage and took a seat. He was asked a stream of questions about his day (he woke up, got dressed, skipped breakfast, went to school, played cards at lunch...you get the idea). And much to his chagrin - after he recounted his routine in enough depth - the players began acting out a day in his life.

And again, it was hilarious. Funny-on-the-fly is impressive enough - but it's cool to watch the players feel their way through a scene without any preparation or discussion.

Later there was a game in which players acted out the fond (or not so fond) holiday memories the audience had written down. In another, players had to fold the sentences of conversation we had given them into a scene (which, thanks to the suggestions of the audience, centered around a police raid at a gay bar).

Volunteers were requested again to be the "buzzers" for a game of Jeopardy - and three much braver people than I raised their hands. A sincere "thank you" to them - and to courageous audience members throughout the state - for making it possible for the rest of us cowards to hide in our seats.

The whole show was a riot - too many one-liners to recount. Let it suffice it to say that I laughed nearly without pause for over an hour and a half - quite a bargain for 10 bucks.

But the best line of the night, by far: "Apple cranberry juice - works well both as a chaser and a lubricant."

I'm a fan of comedy in all its forms, but there's something tangibly electric about improv - that on-the-fly energy you don't get with stand up. You're not just waiting for the punchline - you're involved, you're wondering where it's all going to go, you're trying to come up with the joke first. But you can't - not like these guys can. That's when you realize that good improv is a talent.

Check C.I.A. out for yourself - you'll see what I mean.