Early to bed - yeah, right.

I'm late! I have never been very good about being on time but this week I'm a whole three days behind with my blog. In fact, most mornings that the Quest-ers meet I'm at least five minutes late. We have to be to the Landing at 7:00am and most nights I don't get to bed until 2:00am…you can see where the problem arises. My body is not wired to be a morning person.

I am nocturnal through and through and find that I am most creative and most active once the sun starts to set. For the past five weeks I have had to fine tune my sleeping habits, at least on Sunday and Thursday nights, so that I am not completely dead come Monday or Friday morning # and it's only partly worked.

Some of the problem is that my boyfriend works overnight. I am banished to the living room where I sleep on a daybed and I generally stay awake until he leaves for work, at 1:30am. By the time he is gone and I've wound down enough to try and sleep it's usually 2:00am, some really unlucky nights I'm up until 3 or 3:30.

It's not so bad since right now I'm jobless and only have a summer night course to answer to. However, on the mornings of the Quest meet-ups, it feels like pure torture. I think that because we're now through the half way point, I've been neglecting my sleep in a way that hasn't been beneficial in my twice weekly group meetings. It's easy for someone to tell you to get to bed early, hell, it's easy for me to tell myself that I'll try to lay down and unplug by 11 instead of 1, but always more simple to say it than do it. So, that's going to be one of my focuses as we ride out the last of this program.

My other focus is to try and make a better effort to watch what I eat. If my cravings were a wave and I was surfing in Hawaii's North Shore, then I certainly caught the ride of my life this past week. I have not stopped binging on crap I KNOW is bad for me. In fact, I made thin-mint-esque cookies, intending to give them to the boyfriend's EMT classmates but ummm, I think I have to make another batch because a box of crumbs would probably be unwelcomed. I don't know if it's the season or hormones or the relief of nearing the end of school (for real this time), but I apparently want to celebrate by stuffing my face with items that are not the most calorically sound. For a while I was doing well (let awhile = one week) but a night in the Old Port, many black and tans and one pizza later, I wasn't off the wagon, I was under it. My crippled body (let body = beer gut and pounding headache from hangover) and I spent Saturday "resting" and since then it's just been…ya. Sooo, I'm trying not to harp on the fact that I have regressed and instead, I picked myself up, brushed off the potato chip crumbs and have started this week focusing on getting through my classes and eating what I want, but with LOVE behind it (thanks, Deanna!) because if you are going to be hating yourself while you're eating something tasty, the results are just going to be negative energy put forth into the world. If I'm going to cheat, I might as well enjoy it for the moment and then move on to something else.
On the working out front I tried Kettlebell again, yesterday. I had done it almost two weeks ago and I definitely enjoyed the class. This time it was taught by the regular instructor, John, who ummm, kicked our ass, I guess, is the best way to say it. It was myself, Jon and Jeff and I think by the end we were limping out of the room but itching to try it again next week. I know I pushed through some personal physical boundaries and John was a great motivator without letting us give up. I look forward to working with him again.

As a wrap up I just want to take a minute to thank all of my family and the close friends I have for supporting me during these very loooong past nine years. My total amounts to: 5 colleges, 4 majors, 3 dorms, 2 states, and the big payoff? 1 degree (ok, not true, I have a two year degree, but the BA is the ultimate deal for me right now). There have been many, MANY times I didn't think I'd get to this point. I've judged myself more than others have judged me and for those uncritical viewpoints, I thank you. Especially this past year, knowing I was so close to having that piece of paper in my hand but feeling like I hit every road bump imaginable, I thought I was going to drop the ball numerous times, and don't get me wrong, because I did.

But I can also say this was the first time, in a loooong time that I put my eyes forward, set my sights on something and knew I was going to finish. Without the help of my mom and dad, Melis and Bec and Stacey, Jay and my wise wise counselor, Bob (hi! I hope you're reading☺), I definitely wouldn't have been able to finish with as much pride as I am. This Quest happened at the perfect time and I have slowly realized that I am incorporating a different attitude, a "let it be" and a "negative energy only breeds negative energy" state of mind into my daily life. So thanks to Deanna and Catherine, as well.

I'm sure these next four weeks are going to fly by and I intend to fully appreciate them for what they are.