Another Two Minutes Wasted You can thank me later. There's nothing here that you really need to know. Nothing that will impress strangers at parties, nothing that will help you answer that million dollar game show question. Even still, it sure beats doing something.
Just yesterday it occurred to me that it had been over a week since I last used the "Mainers behaving badly" cop image. Where were the riotous lawbreakers that grace us with such comical fodder? Had the blazing summer sun calmed the dumb-criminal spirit?
Nope.
The Morning Sentinel ran a story today about a Pittsfield woman who has been arrested for calling 911. Her 'emergency'? Missing house keys.
You can almost forgive the woman if it had been just once -- and if she really didn't understand how ridiculous her request was. But...
According to a partial Somerset County dispatch center call log, (Sandra) Hickey called 911 six times in less than 30 minutes on July 24, as well as three times in 45 minutes on July 27...
Hickey, who allegedly was intoxicated at the time of the calls, would sometimes make an excuse for calling the emergency number, (Sgt. Timothy Roussin of the Pittsfield Police) said. At one point she claimed to have information on a murder, police say. But her complaints always went back to the missing key, Roussin said.
Now the arrest makes sense. But, oh, the irony!
The missing house key, it was later learned, had been returned without Hickey's knowledge, Roussin said.
Absurd 911 calls are a nation-wide phenomenon. Glumbert.com has a nice package of some of the most inane: How to misuse 911
Of course, there's nothing like using 911 as a dating hotline. You'll may recall this story from last year:
Bless the internet for making this brilliant stuff so accessible. Some people are just...wait...where's my lucky pen? It was just here! I need that pen! My handwriting looks so good when I write with that pen!