While it's always a joy to walk into the ladies room at work, some trips are better than others.

Most recently there's been some communication going on about what should - and should not - go into the bathroom's tampon dispenser. Someone slapped up a Post-it note asking (who else) the tampon fairy to fix the machine - or restock it or something.

I didn't think too much of it until today - when the tampon fairy REPLIED!

Prizes? From a tampon machine? Either the mysterious note-writer doesn't understand what the word "prize" means, or my mom didn't do a very good job explaining what tampons are.

It comes back.

Early in the morning.

Very early.

The Kennebec Journal and Morning Sentinel police logs always provide for some interesting reading. And it's a good way to learn about all the different things you can be arrested for.

For example, if you're part of a magician's act and he pulls the abracadabra act and you don't reappear as expected:

IN MADISON, Friday, Jenny Morales, 31, of Madison was arrested on a charge of failure to appear.

The rabbit got off on a technicality.

If you're a surgeon, it shouldn't be any news to you that performing a surgery after a night on the town can get you into trouble:

IN SKOWHEGAN, Monday at 9:35 p.m., Rick Rollins, 36, of Athens was arrested on a charge of operating under the influence.

Luckily the patient's implants were a success, albeit a tad lopsided.

You can also apparently be arrested for being outstanding:

At 12:57 a.m., police arrested Jeremiah Greenlaw, 26, of Augusta, on an outstanding warrant.

Sounds like an award: Congratulations for the Most Outstanding Warrant of the Year!

Can't forget the cheap jokes, either:

IN OAKLAND, Monday at 10:37 p.m., police went to Cascades on High Street to unlock a car that was running with an infant inside.

The police must have been running pretty fast to catch up.

That was bad - I'm sorry.

Most of the activity in today's police log update was mundane -- your day-to-day break-ins and property damage. But a Fairfield restaurant was feeling the burden of an elusive "inappropriate orderer" (not the technical term).

IN FAIRFIELD: 11:02 a.m., police investigated reports of "ridiculous orders" being placed to an Asian food restaurant.

Now I could guess at the orders myself, but I'm not really feeling the inappropriateness this moring. I'll leave that for you folks to guess (seriously, post your inappropriate orders below).

Continue reading "Oh my! We don't serve that here!"

Okay amateur detectives and CSI fanatics (who are practically experts), Gardiner needs your sleuthing skills. According to a Police Log update posted last night, Gardiner police are asking for the public's help in catching a booze and smokes burglar:

GARDINER — Police are seeking the public’s assistance in obtaining any information that could lead to arrests in connection with the March 30 burglary of Tiger Town Beverage.

“We’re looking for some help — especially from parents — because a large quantity of cigarettes and beer was stolen,” said Police Chief James Toman. “It amounted to several thousand dollars worth of cigarettes alone.”

Toman said his officers believe the cigarettes are now being sold illegally on the street for “a lot less than store value.”

“We’re just looking for some assistance and if parents should notice that their kids have more cigarettes than normal, we’d like to know,” he said.

Um..."kids [who] have more cigarettes than normal"? Oh sure, sure. If you walk into little Timmy's room and see he's built a G.I. Joe compund out of cartons of Pall Malls, you may want to contact authorities.

Or if little Suzi* invites her dolls to a tea party - then serves a case of Budweiser - you might want to have her arrested.

We at MaineToday.com are also taking this burglary very seriously. If you know anyone who is selling cheap cigarettes or beer, please contact us immediately. We will the retrieve the stolen items. Oh - and bring the goods to the Gardiner Police...maybe.

*Little Suzi not to be confused with MaineToday.com producer Suzi Piker