The Lewiston Sun Journal ran a story yesterday about a naked woman who was pulled over for speeding. She and a (clothed) male passenger claimed they had been in the woods and her clothes washed away in a stream. Riiiiiiight.

But it doesn't end there. Woman tells the officer she has to pee. Officer says "follow my vehicle." Instead, male passenger gets behind the wheel and blows past the officer, weaves into oncoming traffic and eventually comes to a stop before running over "stop sticks."

Shockingly, both the naked woman and her friend had apparently been drinking. Never saw that coming.

Admittedly, it's a fuzzy line that differentiates when it is and when it isn't OK to be naked. I think we've all felt the embarrassment of walking into, say, a grocery store and realizing, oops, no one else is naked.

So here are a few nudity guidelines. Follow them if you wish. Or don't.

When it is and isn't OK to be naked:

In the bathroom...
...taking a shower: OK
...passed out on the floor at Bull Fenney's: Not OK

In the mall...
...in the dressing room: OK
...in the shoe department: Not OK

In the kitchen...
...toasting bread: OK
...deep frying anything: Not OK

Showing up at the neighbors
...if they're nudists: OK
...any other time: Not OK

Swimming...
...in a private pool: OK
...at Fun Town/Splash Town USA at noon on a Saturday: Not OK

Jumping...
...into bed: OK
...rope: Not OK

Posing...
...for an art class: OK
...in front of a web cam sent to you in the mail by a new "friend" you met online: Not OK

You just never know how people are going to react when they find a severed human hand.

You would think, at the very least, that such a discovery would elicit mild shock, understandable curiosity and pinch of repose.

Not quite the case for some folks in Waldoboro.

Had you not known what they were discussing, you might think they were referring to a pair of 18th century nail clippers, not a partially decomposed, formerly attached, formerly living piece of a person.

The Bangor Daily News reported the story last Friday. Read the story, then answer the following question:

The most disturbing aspect of this story is:

A. The suggestion that the hand was a sort of family heirloom.
B. The implication that the story might strike some people as humorous and lighten their day.
C. The fact that authorities need to clarify that it is "illegal to possess such a body part."
D. The description of a decomposing hand as "beef jerky."
E. Discovering that a previous homeowner knew about the hand, and liked it.
F. All of the above.

I vote “E.” Finding the story amusing isn’t awful. But knowing there’s a severed hand in your house and liking it? Not so much.

Zach posted some photos from the impeach Bush rally in Kennebunkport this weekend.

While their message may or may not be of any interest to you, the photos should be.

Sure, anti-war protesting is seriousness business - but even the most dedicated of demonstrators needs to relax, take a break and enjoy a good spanking from Lady Liberty.